Love Endures All Things
by GayleForce12
Summary: Cuddy did not break things off with House after the events of Bombshells. House is asked to make a big change in his life. What will it take for him to decide? Will he be willing to do it or will Cuddy give up all hope?
1. Forgotten Dates

A/N: What if Bombshells had ended differently and Cuddy had understood and understood that it was just a result of his fear? I hope you all like it. There is more if anyone would be interested. I need some encouragement and kind constructive criticism is welcomed.

-Huddy-  


"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." - Victor Hugo

-Huddy-

It was a few months after Cuddy's cancer scare but they still have not talked about House's absence during the ordeal. She knew that he was screwed up and that he needed support to overcome his addiction but that didn't keep her from feeling abandoned. The addiction wasn't just about the pills but about dealing with what always forced him to indulge in them, pain. He had always avoided pain, emotional or otherwise, sometimes that avoidance wasn't the act of taking a pill but leaving when things got difficult. His absence was just another aspect of his dependence on pain avoidance. She gave him another chance, tries to support him more, and got him to go back to Dr. Nolan for more sessions. Things were going to work out…or so she hoped.

A year's time was approaching from the accident in Trenton, their anniversary. Cuddy was becoming more and more distant as the day approached. She was almost done with her morning routine and Rachel was awake, dressed, and fed, House still lay in bed consumed in a deep sleep. She wished that he would get up and help. There were always a lot of things to do before the sitter got there. If she could count on him to take Rachel to school in the morning and maybe even get her ready, then she could have one morning be a bit more relaxing. The last time she asked him to watch her, he left, and she swallowed a coin. Cuddy needed someone who would be there for her, with her, like a responsible adult. She sighed, kissed Rachel's forehead, left her with the nanny and rushed out the door.

It turned out to be a day like any other, hectic. She rushed around from this meeting to the next, dealing with childish squabbles amongst the staff, completing endless paperwork, ensuring the donors got the attention they demanded and dealt with the endless list of complaints against House. Most days she took it all in stride, she could do it all without so much as breaking a sweat, but not today. It was one of those days she felt she could never catch her breath like she was running a marathon and the finish line kept moving. Her mind drifted and her heartbeat with a nervous flutter. Thoughts evaded her mind's capture and the thing that was causing all the chaos…was him.

-Huddy-

Tomorrow was a big day, her one-year anniversary with House. He, of course, hadn't mentioned a word about it. She didn't expect that he would, 'it's _just an_ arbitrary _thing to celebrate'_ , she assumed he would think. Some donors requested a meeting at a nice restaurant for the following evening. It was a restaurant that she had always wanted to try, but not for a business meeting. They would not change restaurants and would not change nights or times. They were good people and usually didn't cause any fuss or demand anything in return for their charity. She was backed into a corner. She couldn't invite House, he can't help but make drama. Then Dr. Thomas entered her office in a rage.

"House is demanding that Chase do a spinal osteomyelitis surgery. I am not going to let a _fellow_ in _diagnostics_ do a surgery _that_ risky in _my_ OR." Dr. Thomas declared in outrage.

"You are the head of surgery. Dr. Chase is a capable surgeon and will assist but you are right he doesn't have the experience to do it. Just change it back." She said with as much sympathy as she could muster.

"I have! But somebody keeps breaking into my account and changing the lead surgeon position back to Chase. You need to get a handle on House or he'll cause somebody's death." Dr. Thomas demanded as he left in a fuss and slammed the door behind him.

-Huddy-

Cuddy just sighed, shook her head, and made her way up to diagnostics. House was at his desk, playing solitaire on his computer. She walked up, closed the laptop, and leaned next to him against the desk, with her arms crossed.

"I see that you have found out what was wrong with your patient." She remarked

"The idiot had an eating problem, that led to malnutrition and compromised his immune system. He hid a drunken car crash from us that lead to the spinal injury allowing the infection to enter his vertebra. He will need surgery but should be out there starving himself again in no time." He bragged.

"I assume that you didn't call a psych consult?" She questioned

"Au contraire, mademoiselle I did." he retorted with a bow.

"About that surgery, Dr. Chase is a good surgeon and he can assist but will NOT be leading it. Also, stop breaking into Thomas's account…into anybody else's but your own for that matter." She warned and looked down at him.

He stood just inches from her, looked down into her fierce confident eyes.

"Who would do such a thing?" He softly questioned, with a smirk.

"You!" She countered, poked him in the chest to broaden the distance between them.

"And I will have to work late tomorrow night…I don't guess I can trust you to watch Rachel?" She questioned walked away to the middle of his office and turned to face him.

"But, mooooom!" He groaned and closed some of the distance she put between them.

"Fine, I'll just call the sitter." She consented dejectedly.

"Thank you, I knew you would understand." He said grabbed her arm and kissed her cheek.

"Thomas is doing the surgery. Don't alter it again." Cuddy turned ever so slightly away from the kiss and left, disappointed.

This sobered House's high from the recently solved puzzle. She was upset when she came in. But it was all a ploy to flirt with the boss lady, get her a little riled up and then give her what she wanted. It was House's idea of foreplay. He knew very well what he was doing to make her upset, but it was more than the account hacking she was upset about. Some of that was planned also but it still…hurt.

-Huddy-

After work and they both arrived home. House made dinner in an effort to smooth over the earlier events from the day. They sat around the table and enjoyed the meal. Cuddy started Rachel's bedtime routine and proceeded to clean up the dishes. Rachel, as of late, had refused a story from her and demanded one from House. God only knows what stories he tells.

"Story! Story!" Rachel pleaded House after she got a kiss from mommy and jumped in bed.

"Alright, Matey!" House joked

He chose a book from an overflowing shelf. When he read Rachel was engrossed. He always did the best voices and never stuck to the words of the book. With mommy, there was learning and love, but House provided adventure and drama! His stories always got her straight to sleep, no begging for more water or another episode of her favorite cartoon, Henry Hippo and the Heroes.

House joined Cuddy in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around her from behind and gently kissed the back of her neck.

"Please stop, I've had a hard day." She begged tiredly, twisting in his embrace.

"I know a good way to de-stress" he whispered in her ear as he snuck his hand up under her shirt, gently caressed her midriff at the top of her waist-line and warmly kissed her neck.

"Please, stop." She demands, jerked out of his grasp and continued to finish the dishes.

House accepted the denial and plopped down on the sofa and dug into a medical journal, Cuddy soon joined him and read her current novel. They sat there like two strangers in a waiting room, absolutely silent, both attended only to their reading. Cuddy read for an hour and then began her own night routine: prepare tomorrows clothes, gather other things that are needed for the coming day, wash her face…and so on. Their nights of isolated reading had become more of a regular occurrence in the past few weeks and replaced their nights of closeness and quality time spent together.

-Huddy-

The following day was much of the same, except that night was her donor meeting. The meeting was at Sapore d'Italia, a fine dining Italian place with intimate place settings and live piano music playing softly. It had been a place she had wanted to go for years but either didn't have the time or the excuse. It was not a place she wanted to do a meeting with donors, but they had always been so gracious. She had changed out of her work suit and into a delicate azure blue dress with an off the shoulder neckline that showed off her curves. A little overdressed for the circumstance but after being so stressed she was going to dress like a million bucks so maybe she would feel like a million bucks, even just for a couple of hours.

She entered the restaurant and asked about the Schneider reservations. The attendant led her to the table, but she didn't find Mr. and Mrs. Schneider but House. He was dressed in a black suit, white shirt and thin blue tie the made his eyes shine. He really was a handsome man.

"House, I told you to stop hacking people's accounts." She said exhaustedly.

"It is very unlike the Schneider's to demand a meeting that you clearly didn't want to take. They really do appreciate how hard you work and would do quite anything for you. Including lie and beg." He stated as she took her seat. Her eyes widened, and mouth fell a jar.

"Happy Anniversary Cuddy." He said through a grin, stood, squeezed her hand, and gave her a quick kiss.

"Happy anniversary. You planned all of this?" She accepted the kiss and join him seated at the intimate table

"The Schneiders are the only donors I have never heard you complain about, you actually smile after you talk to them. I called them up and asked for this favor and they were more than willing to help. Also, I took Rachel to Julia's house for the night, so we could have the whole night to ourselves." House ensured, causing Cuddy to let a sigh of relaxation. It was good. It was going to be a good night with this handsome, brilliant man.

"I am just completely surprised." She admitted.

"I can be romantic you know… You though, you didn't even invite me to this dinner! You lied and told me you were working late." he accused her and leaned back in his chair with a cocky accusatory grin, twirling his fork in his fingers.

"It was work…and it was late…" She defended shyly.

"But can't bring the boy toy. That would be inappropriate." He argued

"House, you hate those dinners, it was really me doing you a favor."

"Right, but I do love to show off that I got you to date me." He bragged with a handsome grin that forced her to smile as well.

The table was very small and intimate, with dim lights that illuminated their seats. The light was like the last light of dusk, a soft warm glow. The piano played on ever so gently in the background, that swept them away with the sounds of Liszt and Chopin. The couple enjoyed wine and tasty Italian dishes. The two talked and laughed, while they enjoyed each other's company. The light touching of hands, lingering glances, and footsie under the table took up most of their date. As the level of wine decreased in the bottle so the about of petting between them increased. His hand found her knee beneath the table as they sat close, it crept up her thigh, making her heart beat hard. She was ready to leave so they could finish this night in private. Upon paying the bill House grabbed her hand and they stroll out.

At home they open more wine, sharing the drink straight from the bottle. They sat on the couch, her legs draped over his, being careful of his thigh, and just enjoyed being close to one another. She was tipsy and began to giggle at every minute thing. He had lost his tie and suit jacket and unbuttoned the top couple buttons of his shirt. He traced his fingers along her leg. She caressed his chest through the open buttons. He stared deeply into her eyes and drew ever closer to her lips. Their hearts sped, and skin burned as the distance lessened. Passion ensued and they stumbled their way into the bedroom.

-Huddy-

They laid under the sheets in each other's arms, her head rested on his shoulder.

"Thank you for the wonderful night, House." She slurred. "I really wish you were there before the surgery. I knew you would show up for me. I just wish you could have before..." She admitted drunkenly.

"Shhh" House whispered placed his finger gently on her lips and replace his finger with his lips.

"Don't ruin the mood." He breathed.

"I just need to tell you…I want you to be here for us, Greg." She mumbled through tired drunkenness and soon thereafter fell asleep.

He didn't want her to speak. He didn't want to hear these things. Those days had been one big screw up on his part. He mocked her fear and left her alone with it. The truth was he was afraid too. He was afraid that he would lose her, that no matter his brilliance that he wouldn't be able to save her. It wasn't just her that he failed, but Rachel. He knew this, but what she just said was salt on the wound. She wanted him to be there for "us", her and Rachel. Could he do this? Should he spare them the pain he is sure to cause in the future and just leave now? ' _Damn it…it WAS a good day_.' He thought and rolled over in a huff.


	2. Quiet Days

Love Endures All Things: Quiet Days

A/N: This is after Masters left the team. Hope you enjoy! Please review! Also, disclaimer...I unfortunately own House, I just enjoy borrowing the idea.

"The painful truth is that while we might have the illusion, none of us are free." Laura Anne Gilman

-Huddy-

About a month and a half later House sat in Dr. Nolan's office. He had been back doing sessions for a couple months now.

"Tell me how things are going." Dr. Nolan inquired

House leaned back in his chair and prepared himself for the invasive session "Same, still doing the boss lady." He admitted

"How are things with that? You both are still happy?" he asked

"Sure" House stated as he shifted uncomfortably

"Sure? It sounds like there is something bothering you about it."

"She was distant after the relapse, things got better after our anniversary, but they are different now."

Dr. Nolan leaned forward, from behind his desk. "You know the honeymoon phase wouldn't last forever."

"I know that, but this is different." He admitted and looked away with worry.

"Different how?"

He searched for the right description, but regrettably only found "She's just distant. We're arguing less, and for some people that may be an improvement but that's what we do. That's our foreplay. Things are just quite."

"And that bothers you?"

"Of course, that bothers me!" House snapped, his blue eyes threw a look that could still anyone in their tracks.

This reaction provoked intrigue "Do you know why she would be distant?"

"I wasn't there during her cancer scare…I suck at caring for Rachel…she decided that the relationship was not what she hoped it would be, take your pick." House rattled off softly, as he threw up his hands in exhaustion.

A look of concern flashed across Nolan's face, "Have you talked to her about these things?"

"No" He admitted as he avoided eye contact with Nolan. He wasn't going to risk opening up a wound that had already healed or beg for forgiveness for something that he didn't know if he was capable of fixing.

"That might prove to be helpful. But in the meantime, let's start with the cancer scare. What has she said about that?"

"That she wished I was there before the surgery. That she knew I would show up, therefore implying I was just a big disappointment." _She deserves better._ He thought to himself. _if I had anything resembling a spine. I would have been there for her._

"She believed in you, House. She has known you for over 20 years, but she still believed in you. That's good! She didn't end the relationship so that means she still believes in you. Why do you think that you aren't good at caring for Rachel?" Nolan's elbows rested on his desk with his fingers intertwined.

"She doesn't trust me to watch her. The one time I did, she swallowed a coin because I'm a shellfish ass and wanted to do anything else."

"Why did you want to do anything else." Dr. Nolan pushed further, looking intently and with all concern at House.

"I have never seen myself being tied down by a child. I am not the fatherly type." House leaned hard on the arm of the chair, finding the sight out the window a very interesting sight.

"How would you say the thought of caring for Rachel makes you feel?"

"Nervous, apprehensive, restricting…" at this House's eyes drifted down from the window on to a nondescript spot on the carpet.

"Why do you think that is?"

"I'll just screw it up…"

"So, you walked away when you know you shouldn't have, out of fear of screwing up, in the end causing you to mess up." Dr. Nolan leaned back in his chair, "If you could go back to that day you left Rachel, what would you do differently?"

"Yeah, stay there with her and do what I was asked."

"How do you think that would have turned out?"

"I would've had a short boring night of watching her." House retorted and still avoided meeting Nolan's gaze.

"So you would have succeeded getting her through the night. You can do it. What makes you think she's tired of the relationship?"

"I don't know. She has every right to be…"

"This is the only issue about someone else. The other two were things you had done. I would suspect this one is too. You are not happy with your performance in this relationship."

"I will have you know she praises all of my _performances_." He bragged with a shadow of a smirk.

This caused Nolan to grin, "I am sure she does but what do you think you can do to improve the other aspects of the relationship?"

"I could watch Rachel more, be more supportive, help out more…"

"Okay then do those things. You can still do those things."

"I am going to screw this up. It can't last."

"Don't sell yourself short House. You have overcome addiction, faced your feelings, opened yourself up to pain like you haven't in years, and you are brilliant at solving puzzles. You're improving. Everybody screws up one time or another, so yes you will, but it is how you grow from it that matters."

"Yeah, personality growth is worth the pain I will cause them." House retorted sardonically

"We all cause pain to the people around us. The important thing is trying to do better today than you did yesterday. Do you want to end the relationship?"

"No"

"So, what do you want out of the relationship?"

"I don't know."

"That's what I want you to think about this next week. I want to hear what your goal is for this relationship. Also, try to talk to her about being distant." Dr. Nolan challenged.

House left the office and just like every time before he was more upset than when he went in. It could be that he always pushed those feelings down but here was forced to confront them. He hated it, it just brought up more pain. He was doing this for her.

-Huddy-

When House arrived at Cuddy's, he was greeted by the sight of a sleepy 4-year-old who Cuddy was trying to persuade to take a bath.

"Rachel lets go get a bath," House said and stretched out his hand for her to grab and looked to mom for confirmation.

Both Rachel and Cuddy were surprised by his offer. Cuddy nodded, and Rachel eagerly took his hand. They made their way down the hall to Rachel's bathroom. Cuddy couldn't help but smile at the sight. Maybe the therapy is working...or maybe he was just playing this all up to earn some sort of favor with her?

In Rachel's bathroom, the two played like she was an elephant getting a bath and he was the zookeeper that sprayed her down. He wrapped her hair like mommy does after her shower and Rachel came out in her Henry Hippo pjs, showing off her wrapped hair. He took her to bed read her a story. His stories were quite involved for such a young child but Rachel always loved them and they put her right to sleep.

After, he joined Cuddy in the living room.

"Thank you for that." She praised, seated on the couch with her feet tucked up beside her.

"No problem. She's a good kid." He sighed and sat on the couch next to her.

"How was your session?" She inquired

"Oh, you know me, couldn't shut me up, lots of tears." House professed with much sarcasm as he reached his arm around her.

"Please take this seriously House. I need to know you are trying." Cuddy pleaded and turned her head to look into his blue eyes. Her grey/blue eyes were tired.

"We talked about us. He wants me to think about a few things." He declared with all sincerity. He wasn't quite sure if he had decided to give himself a chance yet or not.

"Is everything okay?" She questioned. _What was that behind his eyes...was it fear or hurt?_ Those were not things that he would normally ever show anyone, but now...tonight it seemed as if he trusted her with those feelings not just that he couldn't hide them. _Maybe this relationship can go deeper than our perpetual barbs and sex._

"Yeah" he swore and blew off the seriousness of the question.

"Okay…that's good…" She said in a concerned sort of way. Cuddy was hoping he would be willing to discuss it a little more. She wanted to help him, to be there for him. She knew she couldn't do that until he decided to talk to her. After a short silence, she informs him "I am going to appoint an intern to your team."

"What? Did you not have enough fun wiping the tears of Masters?"

"It is a good learning opportunity for them to learn diagnostic skills and maybe your paperwork will actually get done. Their job will primarily be paperwork and sitting in on DDXs." she informed him without her usual flirtatious manner but a colder administrating tone.

It wasn't long until she got up and made her way to the bedroom. House did not join her until late into the night.

-Huddy-

House woke up to find himself alone in her house. The usual kiss goodbye and coffee left warming in the pot were absent as well. _There must have been an emergency_ , he thought, _but then again, maybe not_ , he feared. Was she depressed or was it just him? Her aloofness had been steadily increasing. This was the beginning of the end, he knew it would never last. She thought she could deal with his brokenness, but it always ended up being more than anyone can handle. But wasn't over yet. He would just give her some space, stay at his apartment a couple nights and then take her to a nice dinner.

House limped around doing the last of his morning routine and left for another day at the grindstone. The following days improved little by little. He helped with Rachel more, things seemed to be looking up. Cuddy and he were not like strangers in the same house anymore.

-Huddy-

A few days later House was on Cuddy's couch watching a nature documentary, Cuddy was in the kitchen preparing dinner, and Rachel sat on the floor coloring a picture of a family.

"Howse, are you my daddy?" the little girl inquired.

"No, you don't have a daddy." He replied with cold honesty, engrossed in his show, never turning away from the tv screen to face the little girl.

"Why, not?" Now concerned she turned to partially face him, still with a crayon in her hand.

"It was just your mom that adopted you, no father," he responded with the brutal truth and only slight hesitation. He turned shortly to gaze at her with slight panic at what he just said.

Rachel became even more worried and asked, "What does ado-pet-ed mean?" in an innocent little voice.

" _Adopted_ means your real parents couldn't keep you and so someone, Cuddy, decided she would take you in and raise you like you were her own." While he tried to lighten the situation by mentioning Cuddy's decision, all the little one heard was that her real parents didn't want her.

"My real parents?" her eyes glistened from the collection of tears.

The room became quiet and nerves ran rampant between the two. Like any practiced mother, when a child is silent they know something is wrong. Cuddy walked in and tears began to still from Rachel's eyes as she ran pleading for her mother to explain. She was swept up in her mother's protective arms.

"Mommy, are you not my real mommy? What happened to her? Why didn't she want me?" Rachel whimpered as she hung on to her mother's neck. At the sound of this Cuddy's eyes shot open and to House, who was now standing in defense.

"What did you tell her?" She demands as she spins around whisking her crying child down the hall.

House follows in a brisk limp, "The truth. Do you think she would never work it out?"

When Cuddy reached Rachel room she let her down just in the entrance, "Rachel, wait right here and I will be back, so we can talk about it" Cuddy handed the crying girl a stuffed bear and closed the door to await an explanation, safe from the heartless words of House.

"I was always going to tell her…but I wanted to just wait until a day when she could understand." Cuddy retorted in a harsh whisper as she passed him in the hall and walked back into the living room with him following.

"Understand why her mom is dead and the rest of her family gave her up. When exactly did you expect that to happen?" He barked under his breath, as they made their way ever nearer to the front door.

"You have done enough damage for tonight. Leave, we'll discuss this later. Right now, I have to pick up the pieces of my daughter's heart." Cuddy said slamming the door on him.

-Huddy-

Wilson, who plated his dinner when he heard a knock on his door. He knew who it is…who else would it be at 7 at night with no phone call. He ignored it for a minute or two, but the knocks became too persistent.

"Wilson, I know you are in there. Your car is out front."

Wilson gave up and answered the muffled voice on the other side of the door.

"What did you do this time?"

"Why does it have to be me that did something?"House asked as he pushed past Wilson to search out what food is around.

"Because it is Cuddy's job to ensure people get along...you can't even get along with your friends." Wilson sighed

"Why do people think lying to kids will save them from the realities of life?" House rolled his eyes and grabbed a seat near the plate of food Wilson had prepared for himself.

"Well, of course, help yourself." He sarcastically retorts.

"Well if you insist" he mumbled through a taste of fresh bolognese sauce. But he continued, "Cuddy expects that one day the midget will just accept that her real family gave her up." House explained as if it was an ordinary sort of small problem.

"Wait, what did you do?" Wilson inquired as he grabbed the nearest seat by his friend.

While chewing a bite of spaghetti "The squirt asked if I was her father and I just explained that she doesn't have one." He explained.

"This is not the time to avoid a lie, House! Lie! Lie through your teeth." Wilson exclaimed waving his hands. "but she asked if you were her father…I don't know if I feel bad for her or if it's cute."

House, with a disgusted look on his face, said, "Well thanks Benedict." and continued eating. "She should know the truth." House proclaimed and pointed his fork as the oncologist.

"And what possessed you to think that the king of sensitivity should be the one to tell her? That sort of thing is something that Cuddy, should tell her...or the both of you after you had sat down and planned it." Wilson explained with his usual House advising passion.

Meanwhile at the Cuddy house...

Cuddy entered Rachel's room and wrapped her up in her arms as they sat on the little girl's bed together. "Look at me." she commanded as her finger pulled the child's chin to face her, "I am your mother, I love you and that's what matters."

"But Howse said that my real parents couldn't keep me. What did he mean? Are you not my real mommy?" Rachel uttered through tears, then buried her head into the nape of her momma's neck.

"Your parents were very young, they were scared and sad to have to give you up. I chose to take you home with me…to be my daughter. I am your mother and I love you more than anything else in this world. I chose you out of every other child in the whole world." She explains with her cheek resting on her daughter's head that was nestled in the nape of her neck.

Rachel's tears began to dry as she heard of Cuddy's choice and of her love.

"You love me more than all of them?" Rachel asked, taking her face out of the nape of her mother's neck to look her in the eye.

"Of course, honey, more than anyone in the entire world." Cuddy ensured, although her eyes were distant as she wished that her other love could complete this family. It is true that she loved Rachel the most, but it does not make up for the fact that she yearned for the most incredible man she has ever known to be part of her life. _Why can he not just be an adult…why can he not just have a heart._

Their embrace was deep and …It seemed like all was well and that the healing from House's harsh words had begun for Rachel.

"So, you are my mommy but… Howse isn't my daddy?" She said drying her eyes with her little fists.

"No, he is my…special friend."

"But he loves my mommy and he lives here and he plays with me." Rachel added with hope

"Its complicated sweetie." She said through an uncomfortable smile.

"But he loves me…right?"

"Honey, I am sure that he does deep down. He just isn't good at showing how he feels." Cuddy said heartbroken. She wished herself that she could hear how he felt more often than she did.

"Well I love him…. he is funny and tells the best bedtime stories! And he makes my mommy smile…most of the time." Rachel said through the biggest smile she could muster with puffy red eyes and continued to embrace her mom.


	3. Change is Inevitable

Love Endures All Things: Chap 3 Change is Inevitable

A/N: I am sorry it has taken me so long. My muse was stuck a while on how to exactly accomplish this chapter's plot. The entire story is planned and I expect it will be fairly long. Thank you calianabergman and the guests that have written reviews. We have a ways to go so no Hachel for a while but it will be worth it once we get there. Like in life, this will not be easily resolved. I reused a line from the show from after my story cut in. Also, the school Goff graduated from is fictional. Hope you all enjoy!

\- Huddy -

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy

\- Huddy -

The next day at the hospital House gave Cuddy a wide birth, showing up a little earlier than normal. In his office, he found his three fellows around the conference table, which was scattered with files of possible cases.

"What have you found for me?" House inquired as he plopped himself down on the chair at the head of the table.

"I have a 26-year-old, who suffered a heart attack. He lives an active lifestyle and no previous signs of heart issues nor family history of it." Taub offered

"What does he do? What are his hours?"

"He is a steelworker and works nights."

"Yeah, He needs to cut out the energy drinks but then again you knew that and just offered him thinking I would get out some of my morning rejections." House leaned back amused at the pitiful offering.

"You're right...shame on me," Taub admitted but rolled his eyes and shuffled the folders in front of him.

"I got one here where a middle-aged woman is experiencing hallucinations, headaches, and ni..."

But before Chase could finish in walked Cuddy escorting a young doctor. The doctor was short, thin but stout and sported a short curly head of dark auburn hair. Her eyes were hesitant but inquiring pools a shade of deep muted green. The room turned their attention to the new arrival.

"Dr. House, this is your newest intern Sara Goff." This brought House to his feet to inspect the new prospect but also with the intent to put pressure against Cuddy for her appointment.

"Why are you so persistent in giving me an intern? Shouldn't they be working in your clinic or in the ER, treating venereal diseases and removing objects from people's rectums?"

"She'll be seeing that your department's paperwork gets completed, will sit in on your differentials and any other job-related tasks you need from her. From the list of paperwork I am missing from your department, you could use the help." This was a mere offering to end the argument. He was going to be overruled on this one. The fight wasn't worth having and she was not up for it right now anyway.

"A grunt then?" House paced around Goff like someone checking the details of a product for sale.

"Typically coworkers call me Goff." She offered with her hand extended towards him. Her eyes pierced into his with confidence and her shoulders squared. _This girl has spunk,_ House thought to himself, _this will be fun._ He ignores her hand and comment, speaking over her to Dr. Cuddy.

"What did this shooting star do to get the privilege of working with us?" House inquired shortening the distance between him and Dr. Cuddy, forcing Goff to slide out of the way. The challenging smile that usually appeared on her face during their spats was absent. The fight in her was gone at the moment, the fire he usually lit in her eyes was but coals. This startled him but he didn't let it show. Their relationship had always been fueled by their enthusiastic banter.

"You need a woman on your team, she'll learn skills to take with her once she moves on after her stint here or when you find a woman for your team. Plus she was the only one I thought could stand toe to toe with you and come outstanding."

"So you are going to rotate women through my department until I hire one...are you setting up a dating service for the boys?" House offered the barb in another attempt to start their regular jesting but the bait went ignored by Cuddy yet again. At that the other doctors, that sat at the conference table, eyes grew and they shook their heads acting innocent,

"I have plans for Goff. After her time with you, you'll have to find a woman to fill her spot." Cuddy responded lusterless as if it were any other employee, not the usual sportive jesting that she usually shared with the man before her. This lack of fight was now noticed also by his fellows.

Goff stood back and watched the scene. _There is something between those two. The other doctors seem confused by Dr. Cuddy's seemingly normal administrative response. What was there...what part of this story am I missing._

Cuddy left the department head hanging ever so slightly lower than normal for the confident administrator. House followed her exit and she turned to him towering over her, just inches away.

"She had to know eventually," House claimed in a low voice. This was the only explanation he could imagine for her lackluster today.

"You're right." She consented, not meeting his eyes.

"But..." There was more to her statement than just what was heard. She wanted something. She regretted something or was it just immense disappointment that he knew would have inevitably caused her.

"We'll talk about it after work House." Her stance was almost nervous as her eyes avoided him looking nervously past him and down the hall.

"So, your house?" his gruff voice was soft but hopeful. This shot a pain straight through Cuddy's heart. He was hopeful, offering the best of the possible alternatives, like a child that knew bad news would follow but attempting to avoid it.

"No, just come to my office before you leave for the day." Her eyes were hurt as she glanced up to meet his intense blue eyes. Then she walked away, leaving him standing there with his heart in his stomach.

\- Huddy -

After a deep breath, House joined the team back in the DDX room. "So, I guess since I can't talk her out of you joining the team, tell me about yourself." He said plopping himself down at the head of the table. Goff was now seated next to Chase at the chair closer to House.

"Well, I graduated from Mid-American School of Medical Sciences, 10th in my class and specialized in emergency medicine..."

"Tenth in your class at a third rate program? This department usually gets better choices."

"Yeah, well apparently my published articles got someone's attention and you are a bit of a pain to work with."

"Okay, Ms. Junior Laureate. You are from the south obviously from your accent. Arkansas?" Goff nodded. "Okay so Bible belt and from the empty cross around your neck, you are a protestant." Another nod. "Were you sprinkled or dunked?"

"Dunked"

"Sing with a capella or with accompaniment?"

"With accompaniment"

"Okay, so Baptist and probably Southern Baptist."

"Bull's eye."

"So not only did she stick me with a mediocre intern but also a religious idiot."

"You may think that, but it looks like you are still stuck with me." Goff had been warned that this would happen. Cuddy made sure and took time to explain the atypical behavior of Dr. House. He is a eccentric genius and had an unconventional way of doing things. That she should not show any sign of weakness because it would be used as an open wound for him as the predator to track and prey on. One such weakness he had already latched on to, her cross necklace and another being her mediocre school performance.

"Not if you quit."

"I heard you like games, so is that your next move? To get me to quit?"

House affirms with a look.

"Alright, game on."

"You aren't morally against games on the job?"

"You have the highest solve rate than anyone in this hospital and are notorious for playing games. I am not that concerned about it affecting patient health."

"Let the games begin." House mischievously Chase was surprised at the gall of this young intern but she didn't realize she was playing with the master of this game. She would break, there would be no question about this. In the meantime, he just hoped that she would find this out for herself before he would have to warn her.

\- Huddy -

In Cuddy's office later that day she sat distracted. She was mid writing an email to the board about the upcoming charity event. But her sleepless night and the thoughts that raced through her mind all night were running their course again.

*last night*

"But he loves me…right?"

"Honey, I am sure that he does deep down. He just isn't good at showing how he feels." Cuddy said heartbroken. She wished herself that she could hear how he felt more often than she did.

"Well I love him…. he is funny and tells the best bedtime stories! And he makes my mommy smile…most of the time." Rachel said through the biggest smile she could muster with puffy red eyes and continued to embrace her mom.

"Rachel lets get ready for bed and we'll have some warm milk and a cookie. How about that?" she asked craning her neck to look at her daughter's face that was tucked against her chest.

Rachel raised her head to look at her momma "Yeah" she said softly.

After a bath and both of them putting on the coziest PJs they had, they sat at the table enjoying their milk and cookies. The snack was quiet, just enjoying sitting there together at the corner of the dining table. Then Cuddy prompted that it was time for Rachel to make her way to bed, standing up and putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?" There was still tension. The emotion-filled night had been draining for them both.

"...yeah I would like that tonight."

They laid there in bed together. "Will you tell me a story..."

"Okay...hmmm. There was this woman who had everything. She had a great job and a beautiful house but she was lonely. She decided that she would try to have a baby. She tried this way and that way but it all failed. Then one day she found a beautiful little baby that needed a momma. It was unexpected but a marvelous coincidence. This little baby came into her house and her heart and they lived together happily ever since. That little baby was you." Rachel smiled sleepily with her eyes closed.

"Momma?"

"Yeah?"

"This pillow smells like Howse" then, with a yawn, she was asleep. A tear slipped from Cuddy's eyes and that would not be the last time for the night.

 _Honey, I am so sorry for this...bringing a man into your life for you to love only to have you find out you were just an obstacle for him. He never expected to be a father. He never even expected that he could be happy..._

 _What was I thinking? Children need a father. They should never have to wonder why one of the adults they live with doesn't want a relationship with them. The times in the past where he spent time with you was just a ploy. Once he had to protect his own ass, seeing if you would pass that coin that he let you eat. Another time he spent that time watching and playing with you just to train you like Pavlov's dog to get you into a preschool I wanted you to go to. But there were good times too right? Those little moments he said good things about her._

 _No! I have to stay strong. Wilson is more openly loving to Rachel than House had ever been and it was genuine. How could she trust that any of the kind things House did was not just a lie? I have to do something. I have been in love with that brilliant jerk for over 20 years but Rachel..._

The thoughts circled around and around in her head all night. Every move from Rachel woke her. Dreams and nightmares of House filled her meager amount of sleep. From her laying position, she watched the sun peer over the horizon. No yoga this morning, she just wanted to hold her little girl a bit longer.

* back to today *

An ambient sound of the lobby roused her from her daydream. She had to get back to her work. Her concentration had been off all day. Through emails, meetings, paperwork, and phone calls she had been distracted. Her meeting with House this afternoon could not come soon enough...but yet...she wished it never had to happen.

"Dr. Cuddy, a call from Dr. Kubisak for you on line 1." Rang the voice of her assistant.

\- Huddy -

Later that day, House popped his head in Cuddy's office. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, come in House. Take a seat." She called waving him in. Her face revealed remorse but perseverance for what had to happen next. House walked in with hesitancy and sat in the chair in front of her desk.

"You look tired." He announced leaning back to portray an air of confidence. Cuddy did not intend this to be a relaxed conversation that they would typically have and House knew it. But that wasn't going to stop him from trying to loosen the mood.

"Well thank you, you are very encouraging." The emotions in her eyes mirrored a dark grey cloud before it poured out its rain. The purpose of this talk had her sullen but it didn't deter her, this had to be done. He saw this and the discomfort of it forced him to change the topic.

"Quite an intern you brought me. She's going to be fun."

"You know that's not what this is about." she definitely stated with an air of grief.

"We talked about that. I didn't mean to make her cry. She was going to find out eventually but per usual you wanted to avoid the inevitable." He spat back as he sat up from his previously relaxed pose. But obviously, she wasn't going to let the elephant go this time.

"I am not going to fight with you about this." Cuddy declares with her most unamused administrative face. "Rachel did need to know. It wasn't going to ever be easy...I know that. But the problem is how you did it. You just blurted it out without a thought of my feelings but more importantly without concern for her's. Do you want to know what I had to do last night?"

"Coddle the pip-squeak?"

"House! No, I didn't coddle her. I had to explain to her why her parents left her and ensure her that I would never leave her and I had to do it alone because I'm in this alone."

"You are no..." He interrupted

"No House, you said whatever the hell you wanted last night and now it's my turn." She regained control of the conversation. "But worst of all she asked if you loved her and I didn't know what to tell her. So I said the best thing I could think of...said you actually cared. I don't even know if I believe that and I don't want to do that again."

"I do care about her."

"It is not enough to just care about her like any other child. House...do you love her?"

"I...Lisa...I know where this is headed and I never intended to be anyone's father."

"Right not I am not asking that. I am asking if you love her and you can't even tell me that." She was only answered by silence. "I am at the point that if I am going to be with someone they will have to help me raise her as a father would. I am afraid that the fact is you'll choose yourself over everybody else over and over again because that's just who you are. I'm sorry, but I am responsible for Rachel and I won't have her wonder why you can't love her."

"What are you saying, Lisa?" He breathed rising to his feet, walking closer to her. She stands to meet his eyes and takes his hand in both of hers.

"Greg, I have loved you for over 20 years. You are brilliant, selflessly romantic at times, have improved so much after your detox and even more in the past year. But I've put up with a lot from you: insults, lies, your self-destruction, your disrespect for the rules, your fear of letting yourself care for anyone, your addiction...but I can't ask Rachel to withstand the same abuse. Until you decide that you want to try to be a father figure to Rachel...we're done." with the last words she let go of his hand and turned her face away to hide the tears, threatening to stream down her face. He was stunned.

"Lisa, you are just upset don't...don't be rash." He pleaded, ambling after her reaching for her hand.

"No, I've made up my mind. Please get out of my office," she spoke pulling her hand out of his grasp, never facing him and still peering out the window. Her voice was thin and tight through the choked sobs desiring release. House could do nothing but turn and walk out. As he opened the door to leave he turned one last time to face her.

 _She is just upset about last night. Give her some space and she will forgive you, like every other time. This isn't the solution she's wanting._ Then he exited the door. He was right though. This wasn't going to make things better. She would still be miserable...watching her love again from the outside, hoping he would not self destruct.


	4. Intuition

**Love Endures All Things: Chap 4 – Intuition**

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! They are encouraging, keep them up! I am not a doctor nor do I have any medical training. I did my best with the medical part. Also, the thoughts and opinions in this story do not necessarily reflect my own personal feelings. Enjoy!

\- Huddy -

"Dull minds are never either intuitive or mathematical" Pascal

\- Huddy -

After leaving Cuddy's office he decided that tonight called for a drink. While he was stressed he knew that she was just overreacting. It was about that time of the month anyway. It was a quiet ride to the bar, no radio, no music, only silent musing. Worrying about it was not worth its time, after all, it would settle itself before long. Now, what was he going to do about the new intern...and the case.

He limped through the door and sat on the hard wooden bar stool. That he frequented on his more difficult days. This bar wasn't the happening place for the college scene, neither was it only a desolate hole that the middle-aged alcoholic male crawled into. It was still early for the night crowd to show up, only having a couple tables occupied and one other person at the bar. "Scotch neat"

 _How to handle Goff, she is religious, has a strong moral compass, but has spirit..._ The thoughts spiraled on, flooding out his other senses. He drank mindlessly through his thoughts, drink after drink.

"...You want another?" Finally broke through his maze of thoughts, far too much of which surrounded Cuddy's earlier demand. He snapped out of his ruminations and analyzed his sobriety.

"No, I should get going." He admitted, passing the bartender a couple bills.

The bartender opened the cash register "You better be calling someone to pick you up." At this House pulled his phone out, shaking it at the barkeep and walking out.

\- Huddy -

Wilson came to his rescue yet again, without a word House opened the door and crawled in the Volvo. The car started off down the road as the two men stayed silent for some time. Wilson knew what had driven his friend to seek comfort in the gold liquid. Like many men before him...it was the love of a woman. "What happened this time?" Wilson broke the silence.

"She thinks she broke up with me." House uttered looking intently out the window.

"She thinks? She either did or she didn't House." This wasn't like House. His friend was a hopeless pessimist, not someone who clung to fantasies.

"She's just overreacting." House dismissed.

"That's stage one...denial." His friend couldn't help but roll his eyes, let out a sigh and shrug off his Wilson's concern. He kept looking out the window avoiding eye contact.

"Our relationship was doing just fine the way it was." This was more than Wilson could stand. He was sympathetic that his lost his love but thinking everything was going fine was too much. House was cold and insensitive. If there was any hope for him to find happiness, he had to admit to that and change.

"Oh, when you left Cuddy to deal with possibly having cancer without you. Or you missed her award ceremony instead of just talking to her. When you left Rachel alone and she swallowed the dime? How about the time when you trained her like a dog with those toys? Or the time she asked you a simple question and you made her cry?" Wilson's tone became increasingly sharp with each accusation.

"I'll admit there were a couple rough spots along the way. " His friend's tone was no longer one of arrogance or confidence but had fallen, along with his countenance.

"No, House a rough patch would be absentmindedly telling her you aren't her father, not telling her that her mother is also not her real mother. The other things were just because you are a tactless ass. What were you thinking when you started dating her? That you'd just get to ignore Rachel? That you could just be some stranger that lives there and who sleeps with her mother?"

"Yes...tell me Wilson, how you handled issues in your very successful relationships!" His tone dripped with sarcasm and resentment.

"And there's anger."

"I asked you to pick me up, not for a lecture." He didn't need Wilson's lecture, for he knew good and well that Cuddy deserved better but he wasn't sure he could deliver. That's what hurt.

"Whatever" Wilson proceeded to take House back to his old apartment.

\- Huddy -

After a long night of blues and more alcohol, House hobbled into the office the next day. The tests should have been in for their newly acquired patient that arrived early that morning. The whiteboard bore the symptoms of nausea, tinnitus, runny nose, photophobia, and headache. What had intrigued House about this case was that a typical cold might present with tinnitus but this one lacked any hint of fever and persisted much longer than it should have. There was something more to it though. It did help, however, that she was a slim, athletic, 5ft 6, vivacious, 25-year old. Even if it was just a cold it would be a good opportunity to test Goff.

"All tests came back negative. Her white blood cell count is slightly elevated, it didn't look like an ear infection. She has no history of migraines and no recent head injuries. She has seasonal allergies, we put her on Benadryl and send her home." The rest of the team agreed with Taub's prognosis.

"Golf -" House began, accentuating the L.

"Goff" Goff corrected cautiously.

"I don't care. As I was saying, in this department we thrive off of disagreement. Why is Taub wrong?"

"Um, he isn't. Those symptoms are common for seasonal allergies...I have personally had all those symptoms with a sinus infection..."

"But you like games Golf. Why might he be wrong?"

"Well her white blood count is only slightly elevated even though she has been experiencing symptoms for a month. She has no history of seasonal allergies before now, but those can develop after time. Tinnitus and photophobia are not as common with seasonal allergies..."

"So, 2 out of 5 symptoms don't fit the prognosis?"

"Well..they are not typically found with the other symptoms but can accompany them."

House leans forward, intertwining his fingers in front of him. He figuratively handed over the reins to the (apparently) competent intern. "So, your call Goff. Start Benadryl or do you have another prognosis in mind? Her life is in your hands."

Goff looks around for some help and she finds cold unhelpful looks from the fellows. They all thought that this was an open and shut case that was a waste of their time. "We can start the Benadryl and some antibiotics then send her home. It probably is just seasonal allergies or a basic cold."

"And if it's something more?"

"I don't think it is..."

"You don't think? Well, _hopefully,_ you are right. Golf, give her antibiotics and Benadryl then discharge her after an hour. Taub go supervise the runt." House said in the doorway to exit the DDX room, then left the intern to suffer through this first patient with the department.

\- Huddy -

He had to work on softening Cuddy's wrath, so what a better way than doing some voluntary clinic work. But that didn't mean he would be any softer on the idiots who came in.

After two cases of venereal diseases and four cases of the sniffles, a kid in his 20s came in with an interesting personal issue. When House entered the room the guy was sitting on the edge of the bed with a flat-brimmed ball cap on his lap. He was wearing a long-tailed t-shirt and heavy baggy jeans. The man obviously enjoyed stylish clothes but for some reason decided to remove part of that crafted outfit.

"Well...Zach...how long have you had that erection?" House asked looking at the file to verify his name. He couldn't help but smile. This guy was bound to have done something stupid to cause this.

"I went out with the guys and got a tattoo. It hurt for a while but then I've had this half salute for the last three weeks..." The man explained with embarrassed desperation. By this time he had stood up and was motioning to the bump in his pants.

He rolled the examination chair closer to the patient while slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. "Okay, I'm going to have to see that half-grown sapling, drop your pants." Zach undid his pants and dropped his underwear to exposed the problem area. Much to House's amusement the tattoo the man had gotten said 'Good Luck with Your Journeys.' He tried to hide the smile forcing its way on his face. "It looks like I will need to call in a consult for this...delicate issue. Go ahead and pull your pants back up." After he turned to page Wilson for a consult, he let out the smile he was holding back hoping it wouldn't reveal it's self as a laugh.

"Is it that serious? Have you seen anything like this before?" The kid was really asking for it. Had he seen someone have a half-deflated erection due to a terrible tattoo location? "No, only very...special patients get that particular location of the tattoo."

"Yeah, it hurt pretty bad!" That wasn't quite what House had meant. _What idiot decides that is the perfect place for something like that? At least he chose an excellent phrase for his Lil' buddy._ It was then that in barged Foreman and Goff.

\- Huddy -

"The patient has gotten worse. After she was discharged she got up from the wheelchair to get in the car and couldn't balance enough to make it three steps." Foreman blurted out after entering the room. Goff was obviously shaken her possible failure on her first case. She was standing behind the fellow, peering around into the room at the diagnostician standing right inside the room.

"Golf it looks like you were wrong. Not only were you wrong, but because you second-guessed yourself her condition worsened."

"We all thought it was just allergies. I did what any of them would have done."

"They were at least confident in their diagnosis. Your opinion in this department doesn't matter if you're not going to stand by it. Now, what do we need to do now?"

"It seems neurological so we should do an MRI. It could just be a reaction to the Benadryl, which we should discontinue anyway."

"Foreman, do the MRI. You and Chase break into her house and see if there's anything there that might've caused this." At that, the two turn to leave. "And Golf...don't tell her you are going to break into her house."

"Alright." and the two ducklings turn to leave.

\- Huddy -

It wasn't long and Wilson turned up for the so-called consult. "What is it House?" With his experience of House's previous contemptible consults, he knew better than to think this was a justifiable cancer consult.

"Dr. Wilson" House feigned a respectable tone and motioned at Zach to expose the issue "Our brother here is in need of relief for Lil' peter." This got Wilson's attention and pushed away, even if slightly, the respectable doctor he usually was. He may be a professional but didn't negate his interest in drama or laughing at the idiocy of others. This particular patient certainly did meet the last criteria.

Wilson and House stood over the issue, inspecting it. "It doesn't hurt or anything. It does get in the way and is awkward when my daughter sits on my lap." the man explains. The doctors couldn't help but share a glace at the thought, pulling strength from each other to withhold their laughter.

"You have a daughter?" Wilson prodded, not really interested in the man's daughter but hoping this would spark some thought with House.

"Yeah, she's great, so beautiful and smart. You could see the love in the man's eyes. The man, who was stupid enough to tattoo his penis and obviously not bright enough to catch a clever jab when thrown at him, loved his daughter. You could almost see the tiredness behind his eyes at the work it has taken to raise the child. The hours of work at his job to provide for the child, the exhausting nights when she was a baby, and the continued parental responsibilities.

"A shunt might be the only thing you can do." Wilson admitted through a grimace. The two couldn't help but feel for the man.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, we're going to stick in a tube in and drain some of the blood off that's keeping it partly erect."

"What?" The man exclaimed.

\- Huddy -

Chase and Goff showed up at the patient's house. It was a small house with clean lines and very minimalist on the inside. "Very Zen" Chase observed opening the door for Goff. "You don't have a problem with this?"

She turned to him as he closed the door. "I don't like it but if we need to do this to reveal the truth then it's worth it. It's not like we're stealing or breaking anything." The barren living room contained a straight-lined sofa, a TV on a simple table, a glass-topped coffee table, and a few workout items. She obviously practiced minimalism religiously and her style was of eastern inspiration. In silence, they finished the living room before they move to the kitchen.

"So, how long have you worked with Dr. House?" She asked Chase as he searched the upper cabinets. Goff took on beneath the sink, which was spotless with meager contents unlike what might be found in most homes.

"About 8 years." Their conversation was cold and distracted. Chase was not anticipating this one to last long, much like the ones before her.

"Is he always like that?"

"Uh...yeah. Actually the past year he has really lightened up."

"Yeah? Did something change?"

"Yeah, a girl."

"Dr. Cuddy? It seemed to be something there when she introduced me."

"They have been circling each other for years." They continued to search the house, room by room, self by self.

"Is that how they normally are?"

"No, that was different. Cuddy wasn't playing their usual game."

"Have you asked him about it?"

"...Goff...you have to understand that House is a cold-hearted ass. If you show any sign of weakness he will attack it. Sometimes he will attack a strength just to screw with you. He would never open up if someone asked and would see their concern as weakness."

"Does he talk to anyone?"

"Goff, I know all too well that some women are attracted to mysterious and broken men, but it won't work."

"It's not like that, I'm married. I just know what it feels like to feel alone...and no one deserves that. Does he have anyone to talk to?"

"Your funeral. He talks to the head of oncology, Dr. Wilson."

"And Dr. Cuddy I guess?"

"I guess...I stay out of his business and he stays out of mine."

"Hey! willow bark oil. Maybe she is experiencing something similar to aspirin poisoning." She found in the patient's bedside table. She stood and brought it to the attention of Chase.

"But she hasn't used it for over 48 hours. Her symptoms would have demolished by now, not worsened."

"We don't know what she has in that bag of hers or if she poured it on something in the bag and has continued to expose herself to it. Either way that's all we've found."

\- Huddy -

Back at the DDX room, the team reviewed the recent tests. "The MRI came back clean." Foreman explained "No lesions and no bright areas."

"Did you find anything in the house?" House inquired from the head of the table.

"We found some willow bark oil, which is what aspirin was derived from. She may have used too much. Aspirin poisoning has been known to cause similar symptoms."

"That would almost be a good idea except for the fact she would have been getting better after exposure ended."

"She has some personal effects in her room. She might have poured some on an item and continued to unknowingly poison herself."

"Everybody lies...you are learning. Now about lying and hypocrisy. You broke into her house without a second thought. Either you aren't as zealous as I thought or you aren't as traditional as I thought."

"I am zealous and traditional. I didn't steal or damage any of her property. Jesus did good work on Sabbath which was for resting, but the work was still good. I entered her home without her permission to hopefully find out how to heal her. Also, I talked to her about it."

"You moron. the whole point of searching her apartment was to find out what she was hiding..."

"I didn't tell her we are breaking into her apartment. I told her our procedures are not conventional but we'll do what it takes to figure out what's wrong. She said she was willing to try anything. So that like quasi-permission." Goff was confident.

"You're rationalizing."

"I disagree. But shouldn't we get back to our actual job and stop arguing philosophy."

"If you want to run from your argument, its fine with me. Follow me Golf." House mocked as he rose and headed down the hall.

"That's not what I am doing. I'm not going to change your 50-year ideology after a 10-minute conversation." Goff defended, chasing him down the hall. "Where are we going?"

"I thought you said you wanted to get back to our actual job? We're going to see the patient." He informed her derisively.

The two entered the patient's room. "Look through her bag." the diagnostician commanded his intern. At this, the patient sat up with worry plastered across her face. She steadied herself by gripping the rail on either side of the bed. It was after this quick position change that a cloudy liquid started seeping out of her ear and she winced from a shot of pain to her head. All of this House noticed of course and wiped her ear with a cotton ball, then sending a page.

"What are you doing? What are you looking for?" The patient questioned concernedly. She had yet to see her infamous diagnostician that was leading the case. From the description of the nurses, this had to be him.

"How often do you use that willow bark oil that's at your apartment?"

"Um, never. My friend sells essential oils and gave me her partial bottle of it. She let me borrow it when I started having this headache. Wait, you went through my apartment?" About this time Goff had finished going through the bag and had found nothing, as House had expected.

"She did" He blamed, pointing to Goff. "She thinks you have been overdosing on your hippie meds." House shot off dismissively from the patient's bedside. Goff's mouth was agape, caught off guard with anxiety racing through her.

"uh..uh...It's not quite like that. We search homes to try and uncover possible undisclosed causes or symptoms of the illness. Our methods may not be conventional but they're necessary. It's the only way we can be sure you are truly not hiding anything, intentionally or not." She explained as she gained back her confidence.

"That only helps when the people I send are smart enough to put together the clues. Do you do yoga? Specifically, do you do the Sarvangasana or Sirsasana poses?"

"Yeah...but what..." That was when Foreman walked in behind them.

"What is it?" He demanded, annoyed that they were wasting time on this case.

"You and Goff, go have this tested for beta-2-transferrin protein."

"You're thinking this is a CSF leak?"

"Nothing showed up on the MRI?" The ducklings said in near unison.

"It was on the MRI but you apparently missed it. She may have been bed bound here but continued to do stretches to relieve the tension..." the patient's look confirmed it. The leak, where ever it was, continued to be stressed and not allowed to heal properly allowing the condition to worsen.

Huddy -

They confirmed that it was a CSF leak and began treatment. The day was wrapping up when Goff showed up outside Dr. House's office.

"I learned a lot today." Goff admitted with appreciation in her voice.

"Still don't believe you should be here." He shot back without remorse, not looking up from his screen as he sat behind his desk.

"That's fine, it'll come. Did you know it was a CSF leak the whole time or was it all just a test to see how long I'd squirm?" Her eyes sought understanding despite the criticism he put her through that day. This was less common among people he had worked with but still not unheard of. They thought that visits like these would provide a bonding experience, or took the time to kiss ass while he was on a high from the recently solved puzzle.

"It's always a test. I knew there was more going on then what it seemed."

"So, you had faith in your intuition and followed it without hard scientific proof?" She said with a wink, causing him to roll his eyes. "Goodnight, Dr. House" and she left after the long day.

He was surprised...instead of trying to curry favor from her tormentor, she took one final jab. _She may not be a good doctor but she has spunk._ His mind drifted away to thoughts of intuition. He had had many arguments with his team and Cuddy concerning something he knew through pure intuition. _Is that what I am doing now with Cuddy? Am I just in denial like Wilson suggests? I knew when it started that it wouldn't last. I put the relationship on life support by asking to be 'let in' by her and into Rachel's life. I have always known I don't want to be a father...or that I can't make a good father, the infarction solidified that. Am I ignoring my intuition, the gift I rest my career on regularly?_ At that moment he had resigned himself to what he had always known...he could not be a father and was never meant to be happy...to find love.

\- Huddy -

"You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind." Roy T. Bennett

\- Huddy -

A/N: Okay...so no Huddy or Hachel this chapter but don't worry next chapter will have a good dose of it...although angsty.


	5. Regrets and Hauntings

**Love Endures All Things: Chapter 5 - Regrets and Hauntings**

A/N: Goff does play a big part in this story but Huddy will always be the star. Your reviews are so encouraging, keep them up, please! Thank you! And know do not necessarily believe all ideas expressed in this fic.

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." Fulton Oursler

-Huddy-

The days following the CSF patient were much of the same. The team had seen a couple more critical patients since then. House continued his game with Goff. Every turn was another challenge for her, whether it be of medical knowledge, procedural skill, her tightly held morals, or her theology. What she lacked in medical knowledge she made up for in creativity. Her contributions to the group may have not been the right diagnosis or even to suggest a diagnosis, but they did offer the right questions that created new lines of thought for the group. House, of course, would never admit this and this ability didn't make her more popular with the team. Goff was often caught off guard by the gall of her boss but quickly gained her footing and put up a formidable fight.

Things hadn't improved with Cuddy nor had House spoken with her about the breakup, or his decision. They had returned to dancing around each other except this time it was fueled from emotional tension instead of sexual. Cuddy was still the strong confident leader that had always run the hospital but there was something about her countenance that had changed. The passionate spark in her demeanor had dwindled or was being over-shadowed by a dark cloud. House sent a team member for permission for procedures. While he might've been avoiding her, he kept an eye on how she was doing. The longer he watched, the more concerned he became. She looked exhausted. Usually, Cuddy would confront him about evading their interactions but she let it be. It was his decision and she was not going to force him into one choice or another. The day had come through that she felt she had to interject something important and to see where he was on his decision.

-Huddy-

After all that he had seen from Cuddy in the last several days, he decided to not add to her distress. She wasn't acting the same and he knew it wouldn't be too long before he'd have to tell her his decision. So he was in the clinic trying his best to find a somewhat interesting case. Then he saw a name on a file that he recognized. The kid had been in several times with severe asthma. "Martin, Peter" He called from the lobby.

In the patient's room, House gave the boy a terbutaline shot to calm his attack. Then he bent the boys head down and smelled of his hair. House turned to the parents who reeked of nicotine. Do you not understand that his asthma attacks can be fatal?"

The parents were shocked. "We did what you said! We open the windows and stopped smoking when we put him to bed."

"I said to stop smoking in the house at all. Well...come out here with me to sign a few papers." He led the parents out, grabbed a nurse and whispered to her "don't let him leave with them." When they got out in the lobby he led them to a separate room and called Child Protective Services.

After sometime Cuddy appeared quite upset. "You can't call CPS on chain smoking parents."

"They're going to kill that kid. They both smoke constantly. They were jonesing from their short time in the waiting room. They don't even care enough to walk outside. Sounds like a hostile environment to me."

"Well, that is out of my hands now. You need to stop by my office later." She instructed him before she rushed off to other responsibilities.

She normally spent so much time and attention on her clothes. She liked to look good. It's not that she didn't look good now, she could look great in a potato sack, but her outfit was below par for her. He noticed this and grimaced.

-Huddy-

It was the end of the workday when House showed up, as called, to Cuddy's office. He barged in as was expected.

"You look exhausted." He observed. Cuddy looked up from her mountains of paperwork annoyed and unamused.

"Rachel had another nightmare last night and wanted to sleep with me...so thanks for that." She answered bitterly, straightening the stacks of papers on her desk. House took a seat in front of her. This wasn't the first time he had seen her tired recently. She admitted to insomnia and that gleam she got from running her hospital was gone, indicating loss of interest in yet another thing she once found pleasurable.

"You really look exhausted...if you're depressed..." He suggested softly, she looked at him and her eyes softened.

Matching his softness she ensured "I'm not depressed House."

"Okay," he shrugged off "What did you call me in for, mistress?"

"Actually, I'm not your mistress. That's sorta why you're here now."

"So you want to be my mistress again? Sweet!" he pumped his fist at the idea and she couldn't hold back a grin.

"I want you but that isn't up to me, it's up to you. Before you decide, I thought you should have this." Cuddy handed him a crumpled piece of paper from across the desk. "I found this at the bottom of her backpack."

It was a worksheet from her preschool, with the words 'My Dad' printed across the top but the teacher had crossed out Dad and written 'Greg House'. "It's from their family-themed week." Cuddy interrupted. His heart dropped. "When I found it I asked the teacher about it. They said they had a heck of a time figuring out she wasn't talking about home but you. She was very adamant."

This hadn't been what he expected. The worksheet required the kid to answer questions with adjectives describing her 'dad'. The worksheet said 'his hair is gray speckled, his eyes are beautiful blue, for fun he likes to pick on mommy, I love it when he and I watch pirates together, I love him because he is fun and makes mommy happy.' Then there was a drawing of the two together. He seemed to have black pants and a blue shirt that matched his eyes. He had what looked like three legs, one coming from off his shoulder and she was holding his other stick of an arm.

"She has Picasso's taste for realism." he criticized

Cuddy scoffed, "That's all you have to say?"

"Look, it's very sweet but -" he raised his arms out in defense.

"But she loves you, House." she interrupted

"She loves stuffed animals. She's not exactly an expert on the intricacies of love. Even if she did...love me...I can't be her father."

"You've had some great moments with her. You can learn to do better. I wouldn't have let you in her life when you asked if I didn't believe that. If you didn't want to be in her life...why did you ask?"

"I wasn't ready for it to end, but now it has to. I can't be her father." House admitted angrily as he got up to leave.

"Damn it House! You have never given up without a fight! Why now?" Cuddy pleaded, standing to her feet, pounding her fist on the desk.

"Same reason I don't try to save a hopeless dying patient." He spat turning back to her.

At this Cuddy dropped into her chair and buried her head in her hands. He might not give up easy but she was not this emotional...damn it. He walks out of her office.

House sat there in his office with Rachel's paper before him. He couldn't go home just yet and sit alone. _What does she know? I'm gonna miss that little twerp. No! It doesn't matter how much...it doesn't matter it's best if I just leave._ He fought with himself, crumpling up her paper and stuffing it in his front pocket.

He was angry and couldn't think about her anymore. It was over and no amount of thinking about it would fix it. He would have to do what he did every time he solved the puzzle of one of those hopeless patients, distract himself. Over his favorite golden liquid, he sat at his computer, accompanied by a whiteboard with 'Goof' written at the top.

-Huddy-

The next morning when he took his seat at the table in the DDX room he called up Goff to write on the whiteboard. "Goof, start a list of symptoms."

"You're letting her write on the board?" Chase questioned

"Don't get jealous you're still daddy's favorite." House patronized while Goff walked to the whiteboard. House opened a file and read off some symptoms. "Hyperandrogenism, infertility, virilization, and irregular menstruation. What are those a sign of?"

"Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome" at this point Goff is getting very uncomfortable. House turns to the fellows.

"Do you know how she knew that?"

"She went to med school?" Taub guessed sarcastically

"Because it explains her broad shoulders, task-orientation, tenor singing voice, and an empty house. She is part of the minority of people diagnosed who don't present with obesity. As a child she preferred boy-toys which is common in girls who have high androgens. She was forced into Alto II in high school instead of tenor because of her traditional choir director. She and her husband have been trying to have babies for years but nothing has worked. You're more task-orientated vs people-orientated, unlike most women. She finds it difficult to emotionally sympathize, instead tackles problems with logic. You grow the occasional whisker that you are attentive to pluck. You always wear dark bottoms because you never know when aunt flow is gonna to strike."

Goff stood at the board like she was on a stage with the light blaring down with hundreds of eyes judging her most private self. It seemed like an eternity for her to gather herself but then again time can slow down with a rush of adrenaline.

"How do you know all that?"

"Your social media is pretty airtight but your mom sure does like to share."

"Is that your move, House? Because it was a waste. Why should I be ashamed of that? It's not like something I can control. It was the card I was dealt and I never use it an excuse." Her voice was definite and strong but still, a hint of wavering escaped. "Now that you have that out of your system. Do we have a case?" She asked flat and calm as she took her seat again after writing PCOS at the bottom of the board and circling it.

"It does bother you."

"Of course infertility bothers me, I have dreamed of being a mother much longer than being a doctor and far more fervently." She informed with eyes locked with the diagnostician.

"Go work on your practical training. You are no better than a nurse without it. The rest of you do some clinic work or find us a patient."

"Yes, sir." She said as she got up and left. The rest of the team left hoping to put as much space between themselves and their grouchy boss as possible.

"Hey, Goff...are you alright?" Chase gently asked, catching up with her.

"Yeah, that was embarrassing but y'all are doctors so it's not that bad. I need to work now but I'll mull it all over later when someone is not waiting to prey on it. Thanks for asking." She met his eyes, he nodded curtly and they went their separate ways.

-Huddy-

A few hours later he heard a familiar clicking down the hall. it was Cuddy. She was on a mission when she entered his office. "Have you ever heard of HIPAA. As a doctor, you cannot discuss medical details with anyone not involved in treating the patient. That includes any medical details you discover outside of your practice. Not only did you do that but you used it purely to embarrass them in front of their coworkers. Do you understand how heartless and contemptible that was?"

"She tattled did she?"

"No, your team did...all of them came by independently of each other, all of them but her. You're lucky she isn't going to press charges." She shifted back and forth from anger and disappointment. "If you have to test her, test her medical ability not her ability to withstand embarrassment...I know you struggle with this but try to not be...callous." Cuddy was fuming but it slowed to a mournful burn. Then she walked away.

House didn't even have the opportunity to argue before she was out the door and down the hall. His hand unconsciously started rubbing his leg and anger bubbled up. _That damn intern. Why does Cuddy have to be so damn sad? I can handle angry Cuddy...but broken Cuddy. Why can't I just control myself? Why do I have to push everyone to their breaking point?_ Those thoughts just strengthened his resolve...he was right. He could never be a father, he was too toxic.

He had to leave...he had to get his mind off of this day. After a couple of hours of drinks at a bar he showed up at Wilson's door. "Pizza and beer tonight?" It was more of a statement than a question and he surely wasn't going to pay for either of them.

By the time the pizza arrived House had been at Wilson's for a while. House had avoided the issue that led him here. Instead, the two sat as friends, both knowing House was struggling. He wasn't drinking cautiously but with a purpose. The presence of his friend and the alcohol already in his system was not enough to chase away the thoughts that flooded his mind. House slipped from drinking into deep consuming thought. The two sat on the couch, House staring mindlessly at the TV and Wilson glancing at him periodically.

He was walking away from the woman he loves and from a little girl who loved him and didn't understand his absence. He had made his choice. House knew this wasn't going to be easy on Cuddy but to send her into depression? Not only did he bring misery to her personal life but it had seeped into her professional life. It was of course much more common for him to make her professional life difficult but she should be left one area of respite during this time. But no, this narcissistic act only proved the infectious nature of his neurosis.

"House...House..." He heard as he arose out of his whirlwind of thought. "I've had the TV on the Hallmark Channel for the past half hour and you've been holding an empty beer bottle for about that long too..."

"I was just trying to calculate the likelihood of you being gay. The Hallmark Channel...really? There were lots of variables to consider." House shuffled in his seat.

"No, you were thinking about her... You know...you can still have her." Wilson tried to console his friend.

"Nope. I already told her my decision." House dismissed

"You idiot. You were getting better. You were going to therapy. She was good for you." His patience was short. He was tired of watching this man ruin his chances at happiness or at least for less misery.

"It wasn't going to last anyway." House's arctic eyes darted away from the oncologist, mimicking the man's attempt to escape the issue in every other way.

"You're afraid so you're running. Just like you always do. You think that the more you show how screwed up you can be, that it'll protect you. It doesn't. It just keeps you from being happy. It keeps you miserable."

"Do you think I want this?" House shouted, rising uneasily to his feet.

"Yes, in some twisted way. You are afraid to try because if you fail it might mean that you can't or shouldn't be loved."

"I'm a narcissistic ass...I love myself enough for everyone."

"No, you're not. You are confident in your medical mind but you hate everything else about you. You push people away so they won't see what you think is there."

"You are ruining my buzz. I'm leaving." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

"No, you're not. You don't need to get in more trouble. Stay here, the other bedroom is all set." Wilson urged, taking House's coat from him.

-Huddy-

House emptied his pockets on the nightstand and collapsed on Wilson's guest bed. He slept soundly for hours until he was haunted by visions from the past.

His feet were pounding the pavement and the wind was rushing by his ears. His heart was pounding and his lungs burned. He was 12 and finishing a run one evening after school. When he entered the house it was hot, he poured himself a glass of water, gulped it down and went to his room. There was no time for a shower before dinner so he read a book in his room. His room tended to collect heat so he opened the window to let in the brisk fall breeze. Moments later his father called him for dinner. Sitting down his book, he joined them.

It was after dinner that he walked back down the hall, with John behind him. Cold air hit him as he opened his door, he had forgotten to close the window. Dread and fear washed over him, hoping his father hadn't felt the same. Turning to look, he knew it was too late. A strong hand hit his shoulder and pulled him aside. What followed was a blur...there was yelling, pushing, and pleading. Then he was outside, holding a military wool blanket that stunk of musk and smoke. The memory of John's face flashed in front of him. His intensely dark and detached expression when he locked his son out in the cold for the night. Those cold stern eyes... Then the image changed...it was his face as he watched Cuddy cry. That same determined self-righteous arrogance...that same terrifying coldness...

House shot out of bed causing spasms in his leg.

-Huddy-

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sydney J Harris


	6. Life is Pain

**Love Endures All Things: Chapter 6 Life is Pain**

A/N: Sorry about the formatting issues in the last chapter. I think it's fixed now. Thank you for the reviews and keep them coming. This one is quite a doozy, so buckle up!

\- Huddy -

"Life is Pain Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something." William Goldman

\- Huddy -

Goff got up from her desk in the corner of the DDX room one evening and walked into the adjoining office. It was dark except for one small lamp lit in the corner. House sat with his glasses perched on his nose reading journal articles at his computer.

"I sorted your mail, checked your email, finished the department's paperwork for today and the patient is stable. I'm about to head home."

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to check out with me." House dismissed, not attending to her.

"Are you alright? You seem...distracted?" She questioned gently as she stepped slightly forward.

"I'm fine. What do you care?" he shot back, turning to look at her and removing his glasses.

"I know what it feels like to sit alone in misery. No one deserves that." Goff answered with honest transparency.

"I'm not miserable," he growled

"Well, you sure don't look content..."

"I've worked with people like you before. You think you can fix anything that isn't perfect. You're bored and looking for your new charity case. I'm an abrasive, pessimistic, atheistic, cripple; the perfect target." His arctic eyes bore into hers but she didn't shy away.

"I know not all things and people will be perfect. I care about the people I work with. Some people are easy to love...others...present more of a challenge. But those are the ones that need it the most. And I forgive you."

"I don't need your love or your forgiveness." Few people liked the man but after a few weeks, she was determined she would love him. _How_ _ridiculous_ , he thought to himself. "Won't your husband isn't jealous?" he inquired with hubris.

"Not that kind of love Dr. House. Perhaps the Greek would be more descriptive. They have six words for our one: eros a sexual love, which my husband alone gets to enjoy, philia a deep friendship, ludus a playful love, agape a love or everyone or a giving love, pragma a longstanding love, and philautia a love for the self. It's the agape love I have for you, so don't get too excited." she informed him.

"I know Greek, thank you." He retorted in Greek, bitterly. Goff knew that she had encroached enough on the man for the night.

"Well, if you need anything don't be afraid to holler." She offered as she enhanced her southern accent. Then she turned to leave.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. You'll soon change your mind about that offer." he murmured to himself returning to his reading.

\- Huddy -

The following day, the team was spread around the table looking at the patient's latest labs. Stevens had been their patient for the last day and was proving to be particularly challenging. Goff was at the coffee machine, fixing a cup and handed it to House. He gave her a distrusting look, spilled the entire cup into the sink and began to fix his own.

"Oops," he mocked "What do we have?"

Their patient had been getting worse with his mind was spinning out of control. The anxiety and seizures were taxing his body and mind. His 6-foot frame had dwindled to 120 pounds by the time he was admitted. His wife was tired and worried but his condition had been prevalent for years now. It was only as of late that it had become so acute.

"The tests were inconclusive. It's just mesenteric fibrosis that developed after the car wreck and the other symptoms are from the alcohol and pain killer abuse." Taub offered

"It wouldn't have waited 20 years after the injury to take effect." House dismissed

"Consistent use of opioids are known to make chronic pain worse." Goff suggested.

"Yes, but they do not _create_ pain. What caused the pain, then insomnia, seizures, anxiety?" House chided the young intern.

"It could be Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy. We could do a spinal tap but treat with intravenous immunoglobulin while waiting for the results. We'd just have to keep an eye on his insulin levels." Foreman proposed proudly, leaning back in his chair with one ankle perched on the opposite knee.

"CIDP could explain it but that's not how it traditionally exhibits. Chase do the spinal tap, Foreman start the IVIG, Goff and Taub go research tests for true chronic pain vs opioid-induced pain. We'll see if ignoring it a little longer will help him any." House commanded.

Taub rolled his eyes at his induced punishment. The team left and House sat in the DDX room staring at the whiteboard bouncing his ball.

\- Huddy -

Later, House and Wilson walked in the cafeteria. Wilson just paid when a brunette little girl ran up and wrapped her arms around House. It was Rachel. It seemed like all the eyes in the room shot to the scene. The grouchy diagnostician with the boss's daughter wrapped around his good leg was quite a sight, even though they all knew about their previous relationship. The two were always a source of gossip among the PPTH grapevine.

Cuddy watched from a booth on the far wall. She had been too slow to stop the girl but hoped this would help crack his callous exterior. House was shocked, he couldn't keep this from touching his heart...but he wasn't going to show it.

He pried the little girl off his leg and gruffly told her to"Go back to your mom kid." Rachel looked up at him like he had just pierced her heart. Her big hazel eyes glistened and she turned to run back to mommy. The expressions from the room changed from that of surprise to scowls. House looked at Cuddy, who was purely hurt by his reaction and was holding her daughter close. It snapped House out of his surprise and returned his usual grimace and he resumed his track to the nearby booth.

"House" he heard from the oncologist sat in a booth on the wall perpendicular to the mother and daughter. The diagnostician chose to sit facing away from them.

"It's not my fault she didn't tell the kid."

"No, but it's not the kid's fault either. You could have been...you know...nice?" Wilson lectured, taking his seat in front of his friend.

"Because that's so my nature." House said sardonically, taking a fry from Wilson's tray. "You expecting to meet someone at the conference you're going to?"

"Wha...uhh...no...why?" Wilson stammered, caught off guard.

"Well, you broke your routine. You aren't wearing your red and gray striped tie with a white shirt that was next in the rotation. That means it is packed for the conference because you think it makes you look nice."

"Um...creepy that you would notice that. It's just a friend from med school." Wilson said as he lowered his voice.

"That you have been emailing more recently..." House continued, with a suggestively raised eyebrow.

"Did you hack my email again?"

"No, or I wouldn't have needed to notice the suit." He grumbled through the fries in his mouth.

"Since you notice everything, have you noticed Cuddy lately?" Wilson inquired with a quick glance across the room at their boss.

"Yeah, she needs to go get help." lowering his eyes away from the oncologist down to his tray.

"Yeah...you think?"

"She's clearly depressed." still not looking up. His thoughts lingered on her and his heart sped through the concern. The oncologist remained silent, just watching his friend.

"I suspected it was coming on before we broke up..." He trailed off

"I guess you're right." Wilson admitted digging back into his food.

"Why? Were you thinking it was something else?"

"No, I could just see it was something...but you're the diagnostician. Did you really talked to her about it or did you just demand it in your normal Housian way?"

"I wasn't an ass about it if that is what you are asking." House knew that Wilson had lied. He did have an idea and it wasn't depression. The truth was that House couldn't to begin to think that it could be anything else.

"That's not what I said." Wilson put up his hands in defense.

"So, you leave tonight for the "medical conference"?" Wilson rolled his eyes and shook his head at the underlying suggestion.

\- Huddy -

That evening the team showed up in his office.

"The spinal tab didn't show the typical high protein levels that CIDP usually presents with but the IVIG is helping. He is feeling stronger and less anxious." Chase announced

"And your research?"

"You know the research." Goff shot back.

"Feisty today...get some bad news?" House asked, lowering his glasses.

"No...? Should I expect some?" Goff wondered, cautiously peering at the devious doctor.

"Shouldn't we all, isn't it wise?" House admonished redirecting his eyes to the blank wall pondering possibilities.

"Well...he's diabetic.." Goff thought out loud

"If you're suggesting its ketoacidosis, then it would've gotten worse after the IVIG treatment, not better." Foreman scoffed

"It could be an intestinal obstruction causing diverticulitis. That would cause severe abdominal pain, constipation, weight loss, nausea, and vomiting, leading to the weakness, possible sepsis which would cause the confusion and blood pressure issues." Chase offered

"Do an x-ray and liver enzyme test to be sure. Keep him on the IVIG a little longer and see if he keeps improving on that, but watch his insulin levels." House finally decided

\- Huddy -

The following day after the morning meeting and after the team had split to do their various tasks when things took a turn. House was at his desk brainstorming and doing his own research when in charged Goff with Chase following on her heels.

"What did you do!" She demanded, slamming her fist down on his desk.

Her face was flushed with fury. Her neck was burning and her eyes were aflame. Chase had followed her to keep her from doing anything she might regret. He didn't know that such anger could come from someone so even-tempered.

"Tell me now why you would do that. He was fired, thanks to you!" she commanded loudly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." House replied in a smug voice, rolling a marble globe in his hands. Goff snatched it out of his hand and hurled it, with one hand across the room, hitting the door to the DDX room and shattering it. Chase's eyes grew as he stepped forward to drag Goff away. House put up his hand, signaling him it was under control.

"Lost your cool finally huh Goff?" He rose and leaned forward on the desk.

"Yes, you emailed his boss and told him what he did. Why couldn't you just have left him out of this?" She pleaded, shaking from rage and with tears streaming down her face.

"You care about others above yourself, your weakest point. You said you wanted to play." he smiled viciously. "Are you crying? Gonna quit yet?"

"The tears are from trying to restrain myself. I'm not going to quit, especially not in the middle of this case!" She backed away and her breaths became more even.

"You gonna forgive me for this one? You think that Cuddy is going to keep you after this outburst?"

"I will...eventually." She was struck by a flash of panic but breathed through it. "We'll see. She knows better than anyone how infuriating you can be."

It was then that they got a page about their patient: his white blood count had plummeted and he had become incredibly weak. It wasn't CIDP.

\- Huddy -

Back in the DDX room, the team was around the table and House at the whiteboard. Like a wire stretched to its utmost limits until the only thing left is for it to snap and give way to the tension, so was the tension in the room. With every passing minute, the patient got increasingly weak. He wasn't expected to run a marathon or power lift but when just the weight of a breath was too much, it reason for concern. There wasn't much time for him if they couldn't relieve his symptoms.

"The liver enzyme test was negative for diverticulitis." Foreman announced confounded.

"The IVIG helped some...but then it stopped." Goff tossed out.

"It could be metabolic...that could explain why the IVIG helped...it's dissolved in sugar water." Taub suggested.

The stares on their faces were that of a statue, forever etched there as not to be removed except by great effort. Brows furrowed, eyes locked on indeterminate locations, each person racking their brain for the solution.

"When did the pains start?" Goff petitioned the team, glancing at each member.

"About 5 years ago, right after he was diagnosed with diabetes." Chase quoted.

 _Low sugar diet, enzymes, the liver, pain..._ House thought, then there was an epiphany. "He is deficient in an enzyme just a different one. A high sugar diet is known to help prevent porphyria attacks. That's why the IVIG helped. Start the bloodletting. While you do that, start the urine and blood tests to confirm." He then shewed them away with a flick of his hand.

\- Huddy -

Goff stopped by Cuddy's office when there was nothing left to do but wait. House joined her. He was on a tirade. There was nothing left to do but wait for the patient to improve and he had to do something with that built up tension.

When they entered, Dr. Cuddy gave an exasperated sigh.

"What now?"

"Ma'am, I lost my temper earlier with Dr. House and threw something through his door. I apologize and I'll pay for it."

"And what are you doing here?" She shot at House

"I want to see her gone." House demanded

"I'm sure that you gave her a good reason to get that angry. What did you do House?"

"I may have let her husband's boss know about a certain infraction he committed that may have led to his termination." House responded tirelessly, rolling his eyes.

"You got her husband fired? House go sit outside while I speak with Goff. I want to speak with you next." Cuddy demanded.

"Our patient is critical, I don't have time for this!"

"He's undergoing treatment now. You'd just be brooding in your office if you went back and you can do the same right out there." She pointed out her office doors.

House left. His mind was still racing from the recent events with his critical patient. But thoughts of Cuddy swirled in too. He had not seen her so burdened in a very long time...if ever. He sat in a chair outside her office leaning forward elbows on his knees staring at the floor.

"Goff, what's going on with you two? What game does he have you playing?"

"He wants me to quit...or get fired. He has tried to test my morals, my faith, my self-esteem, my reputation, and now my husband's reputation." She roared as the anger rose again.

"I have withstood everything until now. It changed from challenging my thoughts and ideas to challenging my ability to forgive him... It's not about medicine anymore it's personal. It's like he pushes more because I'm not holding a grudge. I'm not going to quit and I hope you won't fire me." She was a mix of anxiety and anger but she was resolved in her decision.

"I think you're playing a game above your ability. I can move you to another department." Cuddy offered

"You're going to move me at the end of the year anyway. I can last a few more months. He's like a neglected kid, they fight your hug harder and harder until eventually...they break. Someone needs to just keep holding on." Goff defended exhaustively

If Cuddy didn't know House any better, she would have just thought that Goff was just naive. She may be, but she was partly right about the misanthropic bastard...he thinks he doesn't deserve love. This hit Cuddy right in the gut. There were very few people in his life who has stood by him and they even abandon him at times only to return. Many others abandoned and condemned him even when he was right. No wonder he's having problems deciding to be a father. She shook herself out of her thoughts.

"It's your funeral. But I don't need a repeat of what happened today. Do you understand me?" Cuddy answered shuffling through a few papers then looking straight at Goff.

"Yes, Dr. Cuddy." Goff peered straight back.

"I'll send you the estimate for the door and send Dr. House in as you leave." Cuddy requested.

\- Huddy -

Cuddy sat herself down on the couch, expecting a far more personal conversation. House was startled to see her sitting on there. He didn't have time for this and surely didn't want to talk to her like this.

"Cuddy, I don't have time for a lecture. My patient is dying." He said limping into her office, standing in front of her.

"There is nothing you can do for him now. You solved the puzzle. Your team keeping a good eye on him and this won't take long." She was physically exhausted like she had been running both mental and physical marathons for days. House took a seat a cushion away on the couch.

"You may not like Goff but she's helping your team or you wouldn't have to prey on her husband to screw with her. I don't care if you don't like her. She is only there for a year deal with it."

"I definitely don't want to screw her." House joked. Cuddy rolled her eye.

"On one condition Cuddy..." His continuance had changed to that of seriousness and worry. This was rare for the guarded genius and it caught Cuddy off guard.

"What is it?"

"Go get help, see a therapist. They do help." He was serious and his blue eyes bore straight into hers with true concern. She thought this was curious, he was a man that noticed everything.

"I'm curious...what do you think is wrong here?" She asked with almost an amused look.

"Lisa, you're depressed...about everything happening between us. You've been fatigued, restless, irritable, anxious, and experiencing insomnia, loss of interest in once-loved activities, and a change in appetite,..." He answered with surety but fading to questioning. _How had she not seen it?_ He thought.

Cuddy couldn't help but smile and shake her head.

"Is that what you think is wrong? House," She put her hand on his that was resting on his knee.

"I may be a little depressed but that's not why I'm experiencing those symptoms. House..." She sighed gathering the courage to tell him.

"I'm tired, irritable, anxious, not sleeping, my appetite has changed and not playing our little games because...I'm pregnant." For just a moment he saw that same glimmer return to her eyes that he had once seen in the delivery room with Joy.

He pulled away and took his hand out from under hers to mentally reexamine her. Fatigue, mood swings, and change in appetite are all common in the first trimester. The rest could be explained by the anxiety she was having because of him. She was up late at night because of him, she was irritable because of him and the pregnancy...

"That means you've got to be..." he looked at her with disbelief and fear.

"Eleven weeks, it's the longest I've carried one."

He hadn't even thought of that. Her IVF treatments both ended in a miscarriage. He had left her to deal with the fear of losing their baby and it's possible aftermath completely alone. Daring to look down he saw the slightest baby bump.

"How didn't I see this?" House asked in denial with pain plastered across his face.

"You saw what you wanted to see, Greg." Cuddy answered softly, shaking her head.

"Lisa..." But he was interrupted by a page, it was his patient. "My patient is coding." He said as he got up. Cuddy joined him in standing but instead of rushing out the door House just stood there, looking at her.

"Go, we'll talk about this later." She told him with a gentle push. With that, he was out the door.

\- Huddy -

It was too late. The patient couldn't be saved the porphyrins had reached to great a number and you can only take out so much blood. He was too weak.

"Time of death. 7:15 pm." House declared.

Taub, Chase, and Foreman all in the room beginning to deal with losing yet another patient. Goff sat in the hallway outside the patient's room in shock, with her arms laid in her lap, palms facing up.

"Don't worry Goff. I'm sure you will lose many more patients." House jabbed bitterly before slinking out of the hospital into the night.

\- Huddy -

"Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along." Rae Smith

\- Huddy -

A/N: I know you all are wanting something happy. Don't worry I'm not one to write a purely depressing story, hang in there!


	7. The Fear of Pain

**Love Endures All Things: Chapter 7 The Fear of Pain**

A/N: Thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter, so encouraging! This one is quite about shorter but I think it has a lot to enjoy!

\- Huddy -

"Why do dragons hoard gold? Because the things you most need are always to be found where you least want to look." Jordan Peterson

\- Huddy -

The following day the team sat in the DDX room waiting for the arrival of their boss.

"What happened to the door?" Foreman asked, curiously examining the frame where it once hung.

Chase donned a cheeky smile "That was Goff. House finally got to her. You should have seen it."

Taub and Foreman turned to her wide-eyed.

Goff gave an embarrassed smile "I lost my temper a little. We're good now."

"You're not the only to have done it...is she Chase?" Foreman jeered, with a grin, prompting Goff to stare at him open-mouthed.

Chase peered questioningly back at her. "Do you think you're the only one he pisses off?"

"Where is he anyway? Did he call in sick?" Goff wondered, glancing at the clock. It was nearly noon.

"Not that I've heard of. He seemed pretty messed up last night." Chase noted as he worked on his crossword.

"I wonder where he is. Dr. Cuddy and he talked yesterday." She pondered

Taub looked at her "Don't get sucked in. After everything he has done to you, I'm surprised you aren't jumping for joy that he's gone."

"Well, it's nice to not have to fight and question everything. But like Chase said...Dr. House looked pretty upset last night. I might go ask Dr. Wilson if he's heard from him."

"Wilson is at a conference until next Tuesday." Foreman noted

"Well, Dr. Cuddy then?" She amended as she got up to head for the door.

Foreman took a seat at the table. "After you apparent stunt yesterday? It's your funeral." he inquired with raised eyebrows then returning his attention back to the New England Journal of Medicine he was reading.

"Yeah...maybe not. I'll at least get some of these procedures checked off." Goff left to do get more practical work done for her internship.

\- Huddy -

It was dark and all she heard was Massive Attack's opening lyrics to Teardrop, coming from the blinding light on her nightstand. She pulled out of her husband's arms, wrapped tightly around her, and grabbed the offending object. Squinting to see who was crazy enough to call her at this hour, she saw that it was her boss.

"House?" She croaked through sleep.

"If you really meant what you said, come pick me up." a gruff voice slurred back at her.

Goff shook her husband away with her free arm. "Where are you?"

"I'm at The Hightown." he belched.

"We'll be at The Hightown in..." She looked at her husband "twenty minutes or so." her husband nodded sleepily in approval of the approximate arrival time. There was a click from the other side.

\- Huddy -

They arrived at the door of his hotel room, where there stood a scantily clad woman, the hotel manager, and a very drunk House. He was dressed in dark blue jeans, a very wrinkled rock t-shirt, and his usual sneakers. The same outfit he was wearing when he left the hospital last. His eyes were bloodshot and he reeked of alcohol. Embarrassment hid behind his gritted teeth and furrowed brow as his elbows rested on his knees, head hanging.

The room was in a mess like she had never seen before. The sheets and comforter were stridden all over the room and twisted in knots. The TV lay broken with glass scattered around it. It seemed that a phone was thrown through it. Empty alcohol bottles scattered the room.

The woman gathered her handbag, adjusted her pantyhose, and pushed past Goff and her husband in the door frame, giving her husband a wink, which he ignored.

The hotel manager was furiously tapping his foot, with his arms crossed across his chest. "You're lucky I didn't call the cops on your friend here."

"Yes...thank you. House what did you do?" Goff beckoned

"I've had nothing but trouble from him. He and that woman are disturbing our other guests, he destroyed this room and I don't want to know what else he was doing in here. The card he gave us was declined so someone's gonna have to pay for this." the man demanded.

She got out her wallet and handed the man her credit card. "We'll get it."

Her husband had walked up to House, reluctantly offering his assistance. "You gonna be alright?"

House looked up, with bloodshot eyes, at the figure now standing before him."Ah, if it isn't Valjean himself."

"The names Trent, actually." He corrected bitingly, rolling his eyes.

Goff walked over "Let's go." House got up and limped a step or so. "Wheres your cane?"

"I don't know." He turned to look around and lost his balance but Trent caught him.

They each took a side of the diagnostician to help steady him to the car and let him down in the back seat.

"I put a trashcan back there if you get sick. There should be a water rolling around somewhere too." Goff told him and got in the driver's seat.

"Where do you live?" Trent demanded

"348 E. Maple St." he murmured, disorientated "Your-husband-make-you-bring-him-along?"

She rolled her eye. "No, I'm picking up a drunk man at a hotel, taking him to his apartment. I wanted him to come."

"So-you-don't-trust-me?" he slurred

"That's not the reason. I'm not gonna give him a reason not to trust me."

The couple trusted each other and they continuously gave one another reasons to trust each other and took precautions, like this one, against any doubts.

"You trust me Trenton?" he belched from the backseat sending the smell of scotch into the front seat.

"It's Trent and no. You have done nothing but torture my wife since she started working with you. She has cried herself to sleep for weeks now thanks to you." Trent fumed from the passenger seat.

Goff reached over and grabbed her husband hand in an effort to comfort him.

"Ooo, ouch. He's not as forgiving as you Sara." he drunkenly feigned hurt.

"House, we're both still pretty mad but you needed me, so here I am."

Reeving up to an argument House threw back "Aren't you supposed to forgive your debtors?"

"Yes, but to really forgive and not cheapen the whole thing, I have to work through it. Neither of us is quite there yet." She informed him then taking the next turn.

"You're not gonna ask any questions? Give me a lecture?"

"What good would that do? You know this isn't gonna fix what you are upset about. You're a smart man and this isn't new to you...you don't need a lecture. And if you want us to know you can tell us, it's your choice." She explained plainly.

This hit him harder than expected. She wasn't belittling him and gave him an opportunity to open up if he wanted to. Damn her.

"You should talk to Wilson." He hiccuped and looked out the window.

\- Huddy -

The rest of the drive was mostly quiet except for the occasional sound of House retching in the trashcan. When they pulled up to the house, the diagnostician was drifting back to sleep. They pried him out of the back of the car and walked him to the front door.

"Trent, will you get his keys?" Sara asked

"I can get them." House tried to remove his arm from their shoulders causing him to stumble and them to tighten their grip.

"No, you can't." Trent reached in the man's front pocket.

"Hey! I don't roll that way!"

"Yeah, we've learned your type far too well already tonight." Trent jabbed, pulling out the keys and handing them to his wife.

She gave Trent the rest of the doctor's weight and tried key after key in the door handled. Then someone on the inside turned the handle and the door opened. It was Dr. Cuddy, wrapped in a housecoat, looking half asleep and confused.

"This isn't the right house..." House slurred looking sloppily around.

"Yeah, now you tell us." Trent shot quietly.

"What are you doing here?" Cuddy asked bitterly

Goff was shocked "Uh...uh...this is the address he told us he lived at. I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy I can take him to his real house."

"Is he okay?" Cuddy sighed

"He's pretty drunk."

"Bring him in." She motioned him in.

House started gagging again.

"Down the hall to the right. Close the door behind you and be quiet." She commanded, moving out of the way for the men to get by.

"I'm sorry about this Dr. Cuddy." Goff apologized, shutting the front door behind her.

Cuddy just waved it off but when she started to speak she heard another door rattle.

"Mommy? What's going on?" Rachel asked from the hall, squinting and rubbing her eyes.

"Nothing honey go back to bed." Cuddy ensured but Rachel didn't move. She knew there was something going on.

Goff took a step forward "Something just happened with a coworker and we needed your mommy's help."

Rachel looked from Goff to her mom to confirm.

Cuddy nodded with soft eyes "That's right it's just hospital stuff. Go back to bed."

With that, the little girl turned around and slunk back in her dark room.

"Thank you" Cuddy mouthed and Goff nodded. "Did he call you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I don't know what happened but he seems rather upset. This isn't me asking, just stating an observation."

Cuddy nodded in understanding, "Do you know what all he took or what he did there?"

"I don't know I didn't ask. The room was pretty messed up though. You are in a better place to talk to him about it than I am."

Then Trent exited the bathroom "He should be feeling better. He's running out of things to throw up."

"Okay well, we'll be going. Good luck." Goff bid as they slipped out of the house.

\- Huddy -

Cuddy sat on the side of the tub next to House who was sitting on the floor leaned against the wall. She reached over and rubbed her shoulder.

"I wish you didn't do this to yourself."

"So does my body." He laughed

"I'm serious House."

This was too much for him. He didn't mean to tell them this address. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to worry her and he didn't want to be seen by Rachel.

"What are you afraid of? That I won't be there for the next 18 years?" He shot, bitterly, motioning at her abdomen. "Newsflash, I'm a 52-year-old, misanthropic, alcoholic, drug addict. I've died several times already-"

He was cut off with a slap.

"I don't have to let you stay here and keep your voice down." She spat at him in a whisper.

He tried to get to his feet "I'll just go." but nearly fell over.

"No, House. You can't even stand. Where's your cane anyway?" She helped set him back down.

He shrugged. "Lost it."

"Where have you been the last 24 hours? Or do I want to know?"

His look confirmed it, she didn't want to know. There was something in his eyes that didn't quite look like he was just drunk.

She sat back from him. "Are you high?"

"I'm sitting on the floor Cuddy."

She scowled at him. His self-destructive habits were not funny, not in the least.

"Then there's your answer." He looked away

She stood to her feet and held out a hand. "Come on... let's get you up and in bed."

His face lit up suggestively "Now that I would enjoy!"

"Not my bed, the guest room. I'll get your pajamas to change into"

\- Huddy -

House got changed and slipped into nice cool clean sheets. In walked Cuddy with a trash can, setting it down next to the bed.

"You have to stay in this room until Marina takes Rachel to the park to play. I don't want her to see you...like this. Then I'll take you to pick up your car."

"You paused"

"I did." Cuddy nodded, looking down at House who was propped up against the headboard.

His face fell and he avoided her gaze.

"House...scoot over." She shewed him over and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed.

He was laying on his side, facing her.

"I don't want her to think that you're back in her life...until you're back in her life. But you being drunk, hungover, and in withdraw is not how I want her to see you...ever." She grabbed his hand.

"Cuddy...I can't..." he mumbled through sleep.

"I know what you think House...but we'll talk about this another time."

They stayed that way until sleep began to catch up with him. His eyes fluttered shut and his grip on her hand loosened. Cuddy began to get up and House's hand moved from hers to her abdomen and pulled her back to him. His long fingers curled around her side and his thumb rested on her stomach. Realizing where his hand was, he glanced at it, then back up. This took her breath away. She had wanted, no dreamed of this, of course under different circumstances. Her and the father of her baby sharing this intimate moment. But then again he wasn't sharing this, he was stoned and drunk.

"I'm sorry." Those blue eyes bore right through her.

"For what exactly."

"That-you-love-me." he slurred and succumb to sleep.

A tear fell from Cuddy's face. Why was it that this incredible man was plagued by such shame. He was brilliant, charismatic (if he wanted to be), fun-loving (before the infarction), and so talented in many ways. The pain in his eyes wasn't just from the hole in his leg but had been there long ago in college, of course not so severe.

Back in her bed, she was plagued by thoughts and questions. _What did he mean he was sorry that I loved him? Sorry, that he was stuck having a child that he never wanted, that he never loved me, or that he thinks I deserve someone better? And that touch..._ her skin burned to recall it.

Her hand went to her abdomen. _Rachel deserves a father that would choose her and not one just roped in because of his biological child. I did the right thing...I'm doing the right thing._ She told her self before turning off the bedside lamp and she slipped back under the covers.

\- Huddy -

"People generally don't change unless a traumatic event occurs in their life which triggers the brain into new action." Jordan Peterson


	8. Decisions

**Love Endures All Things: Chapter 8 Decisions**

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! This one got We get some good progression in this chapter but next chapter things really start to happen!

Quote: "There's no wrong time to make the right decision." Dalton McGuinty

\- Huddy -

"Okay, mommy!" He heard from the guest room.

A toothy mournful grin passed his lips. She really was adorable and boy could she lie. His thoughts drifted to preparing her for that preschool interview. But he shoved them away. He couldn't let himself think of the partnership he and Rachel could've had. That time was over. Maybe before the infarction, before he was so hardened before he was in his 50's, he wouldn't have been beyond help. After all his therapy, he still couldn't hold on to a real relationship and was left with barely manageable pain.

"They left, you can come out." She said opening the door to the guest room.

He exited with purpose, wincing at the daylight the windows let in. "Good, because I've got to piss."

She rolled her eyes. He used the restroom, got dressed, and they set off to get his car.

In the car, she glanced over at him gently. "Have you spoken with Dr. Nolan about any of this?"

"Yeah, before I called the intern to pick me up last night, I had a good long conversation with the shrink." he sneered.

Her gentleness fell away to gloom. "You stopped going...haven't you...?"

"What difference does it make now?"

"You deserve to be happy, Greg."

What could be said after that? These heart-to-heart talks always made him uncomfortable and he was stuck in a car. It's not that he thought he didn't deserve it, at least he wouldn't admit that to himself, but that he couldn't be happy. It just wasn't in the cards for him.

"How have the appointments gone so far? Who are you seeing?" He requested cautiously, avoiding eye contact.

Her brow furrowed and she answered contemplatively "Dr. Kubisak, has been very positive about everything."

"Dr. Kubisak? He's a joke."

"I want to be treated at my hospital and he's the best we have. But you weren't around for me to ask, were you? " She bit back, impatiently.

"Yeah, but you didn't tell me you were pregnant did you?" He seethed. His eyes boring into her.

Silence followed. She might not have told him but it's not like he had deserved to be there.

"Greg?" He looked at her. "If everything works out with this pregnancy, know...I won't shut you out of our child's life, as long as you're clean."

He nodded solemnly and gazed out the window.

"Have you thought any more about this? I mean actually thought about it."

It was simple to him. "There's nothing to think about."

"There's everything to think about! Do you want to be with me, House?"

"Well, I sure couldn't walk across town to my car." He joked

"I'm serious."

He raised his eyebrows "So am I! I don't even have my cane."

"Fine, have it your way...but we're having this discussion before this baby is born. If it's born." she finished in barely a whisper.

He didn't dare say it out loud but thought, _if I have anything to do with it, it will be_. Not because he wanted the baby, of course, but for Cuddy. But did he want it? Where was this drive to monitor the fetus coming from? Was it from the basic biological drive to care for one's offspring, his love of Cuddy or was it another reason?

"Have you been getting a babysitter on weekend?"

"No, but it's only for an hour or so." She doesn't get much time with Rachel and hates being away from her but she had to protect her.

"Why'd you take me in last night?"

"I love you...and you needed me." She admitted quietly keeping her eyes on the road.

"Thank you." He mumbled with his eyes cast away.

"House...just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Please go back to Dr. Nolan and speak about this with him. I don't want you to look back and regret not using all your resources to make this decision." She pleaded.

"Yeah...I can do that."

All she was asking was for him to make a fully informed decision. She really wanted him to choose. She didn't want to trap him in this.

They arrived at the hotel, he got out and she drove off. That drive could have been much worse...there was much less screaming than he expected. He had a couple of phone calls to make when he got back home.

\- Huddy -

Wilson answered the phone curiously. "House?"

"You bastard!"

"What did I do now? Not tell you about the new double D nurse in surgery?"

"Cuddy's pregnant and you knew it!" 

"What? She is?" Wilson exclaimed, now pacing. He was legitimately surprised.

"Oh quit the act, you knew it. That's why you asked if I had talked to her!" House accused as he paced his apartment.

"Well, I thought maybe...but...wow! I figured you knew. It would be yours...and you're the diagnostician!" Wilson ran his hand through his hair.

"I thought I was. She's nearly through her first trimester and she had to tell me." He paused and sighed "She's seeing Dr. Kubisak. Can you believe that? What's wrong with me? Do you know how many women I tell they are pregnant without a test and they don't even know?"

"You saw what you wanted to see."

"That's what she said. But really that's what she said when she told me."

They shot comments back and forth flawlessly like experienced tennis players.

"What I don't understand is...you know how this kind of thing happens. You didn't protect against it?"

"Well, she's a responsible independent woman...I thought she had it handled..."

"No, you notice everything." He accused, pacing the room again and pointing his finger at the air. "You noticed when I was on anti-depressants. You practically lived with her and you didn't once think to check for birth-control? I don't buy it."

"You think I wanted this?" House asked earnestly verging on angry.

"I think you did. Deep down you wanted to make a baby with her..." Wilson insisted.

"No, damn it!" and he hung up.

Why was he being so emotional? Wilson can't be right. He didn't want to be father...never has. He knew better than to hope for that. When she was going through IVF, he could have given her a child, passed on his genes, and not be held responsible for raising the cretin. He didn't ask then...he didn't offer then.

\- Huddy -

He spent the remainder of the weekend getting clean again: hydrating, resting, and eating some real food. The piano helped to relieve much of the built pressure. His bender was long enough and proved not helpful. As always it just delayed the issue instead of solving any part of it. Although it usually did delay the issue just long enough that the initial shock wore off.

He came in Monday to his team working on a new case. Goff served him a cup of coffee. Instead of rejecting the coffee, he took it...almost gratefully. This caught the attention of the team. It was only a small action but enough to raise suspicion but not enough to interrogate House about quite yet.

The team deliberated about the current case. It was nothing too urgent at the moment but some serious symptoms were developing. House seemed different than he was last week. Something had happened and Goff seemed to know about it.

On the way to their respective tasks, Chase spoke up. "Goff, what happened?"

"What do you mean?" She asked innocently as the fellows followed her down the hall.

"Something's different. He was almost civil with you." Taub clarified

Goff shrugged and let out a smile. "I couldn't tell you."

Chase's eyebrows rose, "So something did happen!"

"I didn't say that." She kept walking, looking forward.

Taub hurried his pace, "But you do know something!"

"He hasn't told me anything."

"You know I've heard the nurses talking and they're saying that Cuddy is pregnant." Taub informed them. "Do you know anything about that?"

"Nope" She was a little taken off guard by the news.

It's not something she had thought of. Cuddy broke up with House probably knowing that she was pregnant...possibly because she was pregnant. That explains a lot of his stress lately. But this was just talk or least it might be. This was too serious to just assume it was true. She wouldn't say anything about it until it was confirmed.

\- Huddy -

In the clinic, House got the file of a 12-year-old male complaining of muscle cramps. When he stepped into the room he saw a man in a freshly laundered suit. It was several seasons out of fashion and obviously not tailored. He was a man who had worked tirelessly to reach this point in his career. One who pulled himself out of the gutter with his own loafer straps. The son was dressed in practical clothing, not stylish but professional, meant to impress the adults around him. He sported a freshly pressed button-up shirt and khaki slacks with a smart non-athletic sneaker.

"What seems to be the problem?" House inquired.

Of course, the chart indicated the kid's complaint but he knew there was more to be said than what was in the chart.

"Samuel has been having muscle cramps, it's keeping him up at night, affecting his studies."

"Ah, we wouldn't want that, would we? What do you want to be when you grow up?" He asked doing the usual checks.

"He wants to be an orthopedic surgeon." The dad answered proudly with his hand on his son's shoulder.

The boy feigned a smile but his eyes told the whole story. They were dull and distant. The boy's shoulders were slumped, not because of lack of posture discipline but something else.

"I'm sorry but you seem to be in your 30s, I thought the patient was 12." He shot back, turning to look at the kid, as he checked the kid's blood pressure.

"Um...I...I...I do want to be an orthopedic surgeon." the kid assured shyly

"No, you don't. Only med-students who are mediocre and/or greedy choose orthopedic surgery. Kids your age want to be pro athletes, engineers, or play video games professionally. What do you do for fun?"

"What does any of this have to do with his muscle cramps." The father inquired impatiently.

"Can't know until I get an answer."

"Well...I'm on the quiz bowl and debate team." The kid offered tentatively.

"You sound like you really enjoy those." he said sarcastically. "What do you do for fun?"

The kid shrugged "I don't know...I study a lot."

"So no fun? Do you drink much milk, eat store bought white sandwich bread, yogurt, or cereals?"

"No, we're low carb and he's lactose intolerant." The dad informed

"Ah...well, I don't guess anyone has ever taught you the value of fun with that particular diet. He's vitamin-D deficient. He needs to go outside and play in the sun. Give the boy a soccer ball and quit the quiz bowl team. In the meantime time, take some vitamin D supplements."

"If he wants to a Doctor, he has to study. You do want to be a Doctor right?" He looked at his son.

The son was apprehensive and the dad knew he had other things on his mind.

"You didn't get where you wanted in life so you are projecting it onto your son. Pushing him as you push yourself, sacrificing fun for success. Without fun, you can't enjoy your success." And he left the room.

\- Huddy -

Late that day, the halls were quiet, and Goff approached him.

"Oh good, you want to talk." House snarled from his desk.

"You don't have to say anything, but I want to say something."

He held up a hand to stop her. "Look, I don't need a lecture."

"When have I lectured you before. Think of this as some encouragement."

This piqued his interest some. Although if she thought that he respected her opinion enough for this speech to be life changing then she was mistaken. His self-deprecating thoughts were well ingrained and it would take much more than a 20 something-year-olds nice words to wash that away.

"You are a terrible person."

"Well I feel very uplifted now, thanks." he lowered his head to get back to his work.

"but so is everybody else. We all do terrible things, that's why we have to forgive each other."

"Yes, it's all the same. My cold misanthropic actions measure up equally to that of Mother Theresa." He quipped sardonically

"No, but being overcome by temptation, choosing the wrong action and then continuing to bury yourself in it, _is_ the same. We all do that. But you'd have Cuddy to help with your deficiencies. I've heard many horror stories about you. I'll not attempt to discern truth from fiction but I could bet from experience that some are true. You aren't the easiest employee so I'm sure she had endured a lot just keeping you employed here. I know she loves you and you seem to love her. Love endures, she can endure any of your failed efforts and you can endure trying."

He rolled his eyes. "People only love themselves."

"That could be argued, but it should be noted that they shouldn't. The world is better if we love one another. It makes things a little more bearable. Sometimes people even do things that aren't purely terrible. Even you, as I've heard."

"Moi?" he asked with his hand on his chest.

"You care about your patients, you surprised Cuddy with her med-school desk, you nearly killed yourself to find out who was dying in that bus wreck, then nearly did it again because Wilson asked you to."

"My patients are just puzzles."

"I don't believe that. I did my research on you, I have heard how thoughtful you can be." she grinned mischievously.

"I'll have to remedy that with some cold-blooded murder." House threatened

Goff scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You have a barrier up the size of the great wall of China but you're not protecting yourself from the Mongols."

"Dang...I thought the metaphorical wall would keep out the hordes."

Goff smiled. "You're keeping out anyone who might love you: Dr. Cuddy, Dr. Wilson, and your fellows. I don't expect to be let in, but there's more behind that callus facade then you want people to believe. And people know it, I've seen enough evidence for it. The testimonies from nurse Brenda, the respect from your fellows, Wilson's dedication, Cuddy's actions last night, and that beautiful little girl the other day in the cafeteria."

The slightest micro-expression of avoidance came from House's face at the mention of Rachel. "She probably just thought I was her grandpa."

"No, it was Cuddy's daughter. She knew you and she loves you. But that's it isn't it, why you've been punishing yourself?"

"Punishing myself? Nah, I just love getting hammered." He added sarcastically.

"She wants you to be a father figure and so you're proving why you think you shouldn't be."

House stared her straight in the eye. "Yes, because everything else isn't evidencing enough."

She rolled her eyes. "Cuddy knows you and has for years. She's strong and she loves you. Show some vulnerability and she could help. You're safe with her. How many stupid or overbearing parents have you seen in the clinic? You are neither and you love the little girl. That's all you need."

"You saying stupid people can't raise children?" He challenged

"No, I'm saying stupid people can raise a kid just fine. You have an advantage, you're not an idiot...at least intellectually."

"Don't quit your day job for motivational speaking."

"Glad you think I'm better at my day job!" She winked, stealing that comment as a compliment. "You feel like you can't do it but as it turns out facts don't care about your feelings. The fact is that you can do it, with a little help."

"You have some spine on you girl." He bit

She smiled confidently, "Thank you." Then turned to leave. When she made it to the door she spun around an added "By the way, you owe me $800." and she left.

 _She should hate me and still thinks I would make a good father._ Truth was that she understood what it felt like to be him, even if just a little. To be confident in one aspect of life, take every failure too hard, and despising herself in every other aspect. Fortunately feeling one way about yourself doesn't mean it's the truth and she knew that. Sometimes it's not so easy to sort that out.

Cuddy had always been there for him. She hired him after being fired, for good reason, from 4 other hospitals. She put her job on the line to save his. She gave up one hundred million dollars to keep him there. Her forgiveness seems to be endless for him. She perjured herself in court. He has said some of the most horrible things to her. It's something he didn't want to see again...her tears caused by his heartless words or actions.

Love endures, after nearly 25 years she still loved him. She compared all her other prospects to him and none of them have measured up. He had Stacy for a few short years but that had fallen apart. He had changed since their relationship and there had never been that passion that he has with Cuddy. In school it was passionate they were young and wild. It changed some but the fiery passion was still there. Did she really love him? Would that be enough?

He did show up for her during her cancer scare. He had relapsed to do it but maybe next time he wouldn't have to. Even showing up high was better than he would have done years before. Could things really get better...could he get better?

\- Huddy _-_

"I was surprised when you called." Dr. Nolan admitted from behind the desk.

"Yeah, well I've been busy lately."

"Tell me what's been going on." He asked leaning back in his chair, interlacing his fingers and resting his ankle on his knee.

"Cuddy broke up with me. The day after our last session."

A deep expression of concern hit Nolan's face. "Really? I'm sorry to hear that. Did she give a reason?"

House sighed and explained the events of the last few weeks, omitting the pregnancy.

"Are you against being a father to Rachel."

"You think someone like me could raise a child?"

"It doesn't matter what I think, what do you think?"

"I'm a drug addict, crippled, bitter, and old enough to be her grandfather. That's what everyone wants in a father."

"What does a child need to grow up happy and healthy?"

"Ooo, I know this! A mommy and daddy that love them."he mocked.

"You joke but it's true. Plenty of kids grow up well adjusted with just a mother. But statistics show there is something to be said for having a loving father in your life."

"I love her mother, but not her."

But was that true? It tore him up when she hugged him in the caf, and he couldn't help but smile when he heard her from the guest room. It was too much to admit that he loved Rachel as much as he does.

"You say that but you avoided my office trying to deny that fact that you do love her. But you're here now, that means you're rethinking it."

"A moment of idiocy."

"What is love?"Dr. Nolan leaned forward.

"A chemical reaction..."

"No, not the feeling."

He leaned back and rubbed his leg. "My intern would say that it's being annoyingly forgiving and sacrificial."

"Well, sound's like she onto something. Children need to be taught how to be an adult, yet still allowed to be a child. They need someone to teach them, someone to comfort them."

"I'm more abrasive than comforting."

"Are you telling me in all your years of practice that you've never comforted a child successfully?"

House shook his head, letting out a breath. "It's not the same."

"It is the same. A child is scared or hurt and you encourage them that things might get better or that they can handle it."

It was a long session, as House knew it would be, a lot had happened since his last visit. Most of it bad...but that was to be expected.

"I didn't have the best example of a father growing up."

They had spoken about his father some in the past. "Does that worry you that it may affect your ability to be a father?"

"No...yes. They don't say 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' for nothing."

"Why did your father say he did the things he did?"

"To toughen me up, to teach me a lesson..." He drifted off.

Nolan approached this very delicately. "You know not to repeat the things he did. You know it was wrong and you don't want to pass on that pain to anyone else. Statistics say that it is highly unlikely that you would continue that line of abuse."

House just nodded, looking down at the carpet and spinning his cane in his hands.

"What do you want?"

"I want to be happy. I'm happy with her but I don't know if I can do the kid thing."He answered honestly.

"Why not try?"

"She said I'm out of the kid's life until I decide to be her father."House was at the end of his rope.

"We've talked about a lot today. I want you to talk to her about how you're feeling. In the meantime take some of these."Nolan handed him a bottle of pills.

"Ativan? We've talked about this before. I don't have anxiety."

"Your heart is racing and your breathing has increased, you've been self-medicating with alcohol, you have anxiety. I'm gonna give you a prescription. You're going to have some tough conversations in the next few days. Instead of letting the anxiety keep you from having them, take one of these."

"Fine."House took the bottle and stared at it in his hand.

\- Huddy -

In the car after the session his mind was flooded of his recent clinic patients: the young kid with the pierced penis, the smoking parents, and the overbearing dad. All of them were idiots but raising kids. He might not be the most comforting man on earth or at all really. He was smart enough to find a way to manage it. If he did decide to be a part of it, he would have Cuddy to tempter him.

Two kids, a man and a woman living in a quiet little neighborhood. Was that him? Is this truly who he wanted to be? He'd been a lonely bachelor for over 3 decades now. Could he let go of that freedom? What will happen when he screws up because he will...everybody does. Will he be off on his butt again? If he was thrown out again...could he handle it?

"I was right. It's better to stay out of the way." He spoke to himself in the empty car. If he wanted to see the fetus after it's born, then he could. Maybe that distance would protect the kid from too much pain. He started the car and drove back to his apartment.

\- Huddy -

"Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right." Phil McGraw


	9. Changes

**Love Endures All Things - Chapter 9: Changes**

A/N: Had some RL stuff come up. Nothing serious just requiring my time. I originally planned for this chapter and the next to be one but it got too long so I split them. After this chapter, we have 3 more left in this story. Hope you have enjoyed it so far. As always, thank you so much for the reviews!

\- Huddy -

"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking." Albert Einstein

\- Huddy -

The following week House gets a page for a consult in the clinic. When he opened the door to the exam room there was no patient, just Cuddy, and an ultrasound machine.

"No." He turned to leave.

"Greg please!" She pleaded. "I need your opinion."

Hearing her earnest his head fell, he turned back and shut the door behind him. "You're a doctor. Pregnancies are pretty straight forward."

She stepped closer, just inches away from him. She looked up into his sharp blue eyes and her hand came to rest on his bicep. It hurt, the touch burned because he wanted more. He wanted to bridge the rift between them. It was like a starving man standing opposite a shop window full of bread. It had been too long since they had touched. She had allowed him time and space to make his decision but now she is calling on him to consult on the fetus? _She's getting desperate. She's gonna start pressuring me._

"I've made my decision Cuddy. Don't use this to try and change it." His eyes were cold.

"I'm not." Her voice cracked. "I was listening at home and thought I heard something."

She was truly afraid. It was a mother seeking help from a doctor, nothing else...at least for the most part. How could he look into those soft eyes and leave her in her fear?

He sighed. "Lay down."

Pulling away he turned on the ultrasound machine as she climbed up on the table and lifted her shirt. He applied the gel and began the search. She was in her 40's but she kept herself in shape. Her stomach was slightly rounded from the pregnancy but still taut. It was a sight he missed and now it had changed. Not for the worse but symbolized much more than just a part of her sexy body but now it was growing their child.

A few moments of searching around with the ultrasound machine. "Heartbeat 160, about 2.3 inches...it looks...perfect. It was nothing, that fetus is fine.."

Their eyes caught. The potential growing there caught them both. Her eyes yearned for him to see more than the cold medical facts. The desire for him to be there for it all. The statistics looked pretty grim for her and the fetus: advanced maternal age and multiple failed pregnancies, none of which carried to term. If it didn't survive she didn't want to have to go through it alone. She could and had during her IVF treatments...but she didn't desire to repeat that.

He handed her a wipe to clean off the gel. "Why didn't you tell me that you were trying?"

"I wasn't trying as much as I didn't believe it would happen. After trying so hard to get pregnant in the past...I didn't want to try and prevent it anymore. I should have told you. I'm sorry." She admitted, still seated on the examination table, and eyed him.

"Did you skip reproduction in medical school?"

"I didn't want to scare you off. I also figured that you were observant enough to notice the pills I take and don't take." She defended fervently.

"Maybe I would have stayed. Maybe I would have tried harder." He challenged her bitterly.

She stood, heart racing, and closed some of the distance between them. "What are you saying, Greg?"

"I'm saying don't assume you know what I would and wouldn't do. This is uncharted territory for me." He peered down into her hopeful eyes.

She placed her hand on his chest. "Have you changed your mind?"

"No." It was cold and definite.

He took her hand off his chest and left. She couldn't believe it. He was gentle and tender...he opened up even if just a little. Even with all of that, he left so coldly.

\- Huddy -

House strolled into Wilson's office and dropped on his couch, not saying a word. "You okay? Tough case?" His friend inquired.

"No" House's eyes peered at an indeterminable spot in the middle of the floor and rubbed his thigh.

"No you aren't okay or no it's not a tough case?" Wilson asked inquisitively.

"It's not a hard case."

"Yet you sit stoically." He offered curiously.

House momentarily broke his fixation on the floor and leaned back. "It was just an ultrasound."

Wilson was shocked. "On Cuddy? Was everything alright?"

House avoided pain as often as he could, yet he performed an ultrasound on his unborn child. His unborn child that he was going to shut out of his life. What did this mean? Was he changing his mind? Was he being sacrificial by facing his pain to help Cuddy?

"They both seemed perfectly healthy." His face finally lifted to meet the oncologist.

"That's good. Are you rethinking your decision?"

"No, why should I?"

"Well, the woman you love is having your child...for one." Wilson remarked

"That doesn't matter. I can't be a father."

"Why not? You're good with most of the kids that go through your department. That 15-year old that was taking care of his mother. The autistic kid who gave you his handheld. The CIPA girl, Andie-"

"Okay, I get it. But that's not the same."

"You're right. You got them when they were sick, stressed, and scared. The easiest times to care for a kid." Wilson challenged sardonically.

"Yes, but for brief moments of time."

"You're right its not the same but it should be taken into account. Who did the kids go to and bond with? The cute guy with the cool accent, the sweet motherly figure, the homeboy, the geeky Indian guy-"

House held up his hand to stop him. "Okay, I get it."

Wilson's arms were crossed in front of him rested on his desk. "They came to you because you treat them like they matter. You talk to them like they're intelligent. Kids like you and you're good with them."

"I wouldn't go quite that far. You were in the cafeteria."

"Yeah, but if the circumstances were different, you would have told them all to go to hell and hugged her anyway." Wilson offered him with a stern expression.

House just nodded, his hand massaged his aching leg.

"You did that because it would have been harder on her to wait for you to come back or wonder why you didn't."

Surprised, he raised a hand to his chest, "Doth mine ears deceive me or are you defending me?"

"I'm not saying that was the best option, but I understand why you did it." He couldn't let House think he was actually defending him. He would never hear the end of it.

"Gee thanks."

"You want that baby. Don't you start to deny it." Wilson declared pointing a finger at him.

House leaned back feigning confidence. "Evolution dictates that I should."

"No, you truly want it, or you wouldn't be in my office-"

"Of course I do!" House yelled

"House, then talk to Cuddy. You have this one chance to have a family. You love her, you love the baby, and you can learn to love Rachel." He had never seen that out of his friend, it was absolutely new territory.

Huddy -

The patient's condition was progressing and things started to become direr. House needed a brain biopsy done on his patient. If he wanted it he needed Cuddy's approval. He was tempted to send one of the lackeys to beg for permission but figured that soon he would have to stop avoiding her.

On his way to her office, he noticed an abnormal amount of staring in his direction. Usually, his presence in the halls drew loathsome glares mixed with fear but these were stares of derision. Their eyes detested and mocked him. It wasn't something he was unfamiliar with but it wasn't driven away, as usual, when he connected eyes with them.

When he entered her office she had her face hidden in her palms, elbows rested on her desk. "Everything okay?"

"No, my assistant quit, I'm constantly exhausted, the rumor mill has hiked back up, I have meetings late for the rest of the week, my babysitter had a commitment she couldn't get out of, and Marina's mom died so she flew home for that." She panted, regarding up with tired eyes.

"The Cuddy I know wouldn't care about the gossip."

"Yeah, but it doesn't just affect me."

"Do you think I give a damn about what people say about me? I thrive from it." He let out a brilliant smile and waggled his eyebrows.

She smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "I would just go ahead and announce it but we have to talk to HR and inform them about the change in our relationship. Thing is...I don't know what it's changed into..."

"Just tell them. We're working some stuff out but it obviously hasn't affected our working relationship. I'm here to bug you for another crazy test. You're gonna question me about its efficacy and I'm gonna say it's necessary and you're gonna cave. Nothings changed."

"Ha! I don't always cave and sometimes you're crazy ideas actually work. What is it this time?"

"I need a brain biopsy."

"What for?" She replied impatiently.

"We are thinking Creutzfeldt-Jakobs."

"Do you have a reason for that particular zebra?" She questioned with a furrowed brow.

"Severe cognitive impairment, muscular spasms, and vision problems. The ducklings agree, not even the insanely moral Goff is objecting." He played it off.

"Have you ran an EEG or MRI?"

"A brain biopsy is the only true confirmation of the disease."

"Yes, but they have a very specific EEG pattern. Get an abnormal EEG and I will allow the biopsy."

House nodded and went to exit the office but turned back but turned back right before he reached the door. "You know...I could pick Rachel up if you need me to."

She was taken aback. "Have you changed your mind?"

He just shrugged. "I'm not sure but I'd like the chance to try before the decision is made for me." His eyes were clear and full of pure sincerity.

"Uh...yeah...but you have a patient?"

He shrugged not losing a bit of his determination. "They can call me or I can interrogate the patient over the phone."

"Okay...yeah pick her up at preschool by 4:30." She sat down and relief flooded over her.

He gave her a nod and limped out.

"You'll need a car seat!" Cuddy called out to him but got nothing but a thumbs up in response. She expected to have her keys stolen and switched with his by the end of the day.

\- Huddy -

"I'm here to pick up Rachel Cuddy." He told the lady at the front desk.

She stared at him suspiciously. "I'm gonna need to see an ID."

He dug in his pocket, retrieved his wallet and handed her his license. While the worker checked his ID versus the database, he took time to take in his surroundings. The entrance, like the rest of the school, was full of bright colorful murals. A small play area filled the foyer with a play kitchen and train set.

"Mr. House, She's in the Jungle room with Mrs. Nancy, third door on the right." The worker informed him as she handed back his ID.

"It's Doctor actually." he corrected and limped down the hall.

He found a bright green door with a large smiling monkey adorned on it's front. "Mrs. Nancy, I presume? I'm Dr. House, here for Rachel."

"Ah! You must be the notorious Greg House I have heard so much about?" She offered him a welcoming smile and a hand.

"That's what I said my name was." He retorted.

When he entered the class was lining up for recess. Gazing past the teacher he saw Rachel appearing sheepish.

"Come on Rachel you're being picked up." The teacher called motioning her over.

Rachel walked closer to the teacher but kept her distance from him. "No, I want momma."

"Your mom's at work." House informed unsympathetically.

"I want Ms. Marina." By this time she was nearly hiding behind the teacher.

Damn it. His eyebrows furrowed with concern. "Come here kid, lets talk." He motioned for her and sat on the nearest class table, pulling out a chair for the little girl.

Mrs. Nancy could see there was something that needed to work out. She hated seeing that look on any of her kids. Life can be so hard and for kids, it was even harder. They didn't have the capacity to understand it nor the capabilities to control it. Either way a parent...or guardian...or any adult figure in the child's life, taking the time to sit with the child and talk about it, was a good sign. She left the two to work things out.

Alone in the room, they sat. "Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings the other day." he explained.

With her shoulders slumped, she refused to meet his eyes. "You did."

"I know that. It wasn't about you. Me and your mom were having a disagreement and your hug caught me off guard." He explained.

She looked up and a small smile broke through. "I scared you?"

"Something like that." He admitted with a toothy grin.

The brightness of her eyes faded and her little head fell. "Why did you leave?"

"It wasn't because of you. Me and your mom needed to...work some stuff out."

"And it's all fixed?"

"Not quite."

"But you're here now?" Her voice was hopeful.

"Yeah but sometimes things aren't an easy or clear fix. But let's go back home and enjoy the night?"

"Okay." She stood and took his large hand in hers and they left for home.

\- Huddy -

When Cuddy came home she saw House and Rachel sitting on the floor of the living room. Her hair was wet and was wearing her favorite nightgown. They were building what seemed to be a castle, with her Magna-tiles. She gave a sigh of relief and a smile broke across her face.

"Hey!" Cuddy called from the entrance.

House got to his feet and met her halfway into the living room. It was an awkward encounter. They used to greet each other with an embrace and some snogging but that was off the menu for tonight. There was so much to say and so much they wanted to do. The electricity between them buzzed, speeding their hearts and shortening their breaths. Both sets of eyes hid sorrow behind a content front.

House broke the silence. "You don't trust me? It's only 7:30." He quietly jabbed good-naturedly.

His comment broke the awkward tension and he stepped forward, towering over her.

She averted her eyes from the piercing blue pools. "I just thought you'd want to be relieved as soon as possible."

"We were doing fine. Weren't we Rachel." He called into the other room.

"Yep!" She answered enthusiastically continuing to build with her tiles.

Cuddy sat down her purse and hung up her coat. When she turned House had blocked her path, beholding at her just as intently as before. This forced her to push past him to give her daughter a hug.

"Rachel, it's time for bed, clean up the tiles."

"But mom, you just got home." Rachel pleaded.

"I know but you have to get to bed. Clean up and I'll read you a bedtime story."

"Can House read me a story?"

Before House got the chance to respond, Cuddy answered for him. "No, honey he has to get home."

"Okay" Rachel replied mournfully and cleaned up the mess.

Cuddy held out her hand for Rachel to take to lead her off to bed. They made it halfway down the hall when Rachel let go of her mother's hand.

"I gotta say goodnight to Howse!" She ran back to him with arms extended to tackle him with a hug.

Instead of hugging him with a firm comforting squeeze she tripped and rammed right into his mangled thigh. The hit shot pain over his whole body and sent his remaining thigh muscle into spasms. The cut muscle fibers pulled on their non-existent centers. The pain took his breath away and sent him to the floor, where Rachel fell with him landing on his thigh yet again. He screamed from the pain and gently but quickly pried Rachel off his thigh.

Cuddy ran to his aid, her eyes wide in shock, her arms reaching out to him. Rachel shrieked and broke into tears.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She repeated desperately while tears ran down her cheeks.

She was afraid and clung to her mother's side. Cuddy was knelt beside him with on hand on his shoulder and the other gripping his hand. His eyes were wide and he gasped desperately for air. His stomach contracted rhythmically as nausea washed over him. He clawed at his throbbing leg.

"Rachel go get the trashcan from the bathroom." She commanded, shaking Rachel from her shock.

Rachel raced off and was back before Cuddy had time to turn around. It was just in time to catch the contents of his stomach. Fear flooded Rachel and she could do nothing but watch in terror and back away from the scene. She hit the wall opposite the event and crumpled to the floor, tears streaming and horror on her face.

"House, your heart rate is too high...I'm gonna have to call 911."

"No! Ativan, jacket pocket." He broke his focus on the floor and looked into her eyes, pleading.

Her eyes twisted in confusion, why did he have benzos. They wouldn't take his pain away but they would lower his heart rate to a safer level. Her fear grew even more as she ran to retrieve his meds. She scrabbled through one pocket and then the other finding two bottles of medications: Ibuprofen and Adivan. The prescribing doctor for the Adivan was Dr. Nolan, only a few pills were missing and the prescription was new. He had gone back to therapy.

She handed him the pills and some water but he dry swallowed them. House had begun to calm ever so slightly. The tremors and retching had stopped. He just stared at the floor trying to concentrate on anything else. He forced himself to take slow deep breaths and calm his racing heart. He was drenched in sweat and his hair clung to his forehead. Cuddy's hand stroked his face, desperate to take the pain from him.

"Rachel, go to your room and wait for me." Cuddy commanded, looking sympathetically at her daughter.

Rachel just nodded and slunk down the hall. Her face was covered in trails of shed tears and her eyes were puffy. She continued to stroke his cheek. He rubbed his thigh earnestly. They sat there together on the floor for a couple of hours before the pain had yielded enough for him to move.

"You ought to get off the floor." He rested his weight on her and together they hobbled to the couch.

"I'm gonna check on Rachel. She's probably asleep by now." He nodded in response, still not daring to break his concentration.

She found Rachel asleep with the light still on, curled up on top of the covers and her face buried in her tear soaked pillow. Cuddy knelt by her side, extracted the blanket from under her and tucked them around her small form. Her eyes rested softly on the child and a tear ran down her face. Why did everything have to be so hard...for him...for her?

She returned to the living room taking back her seat next to him and they sat there together side by side until the pain subsided more. They held hands but kept the rest of their bodies pointed forward.

"You're looking better." She offered hopefully.

"Yeah, I'm getting there." He sighed. "I better get going actually."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He avoided her gaze.

He rose but instead of stopping at the door he walked past it down the hall. She watched wondering what he was doing. Was he going to the restroom? No, he turned and entered Rachel's room. He sat next to her on the bed and shook her shoulder gently.

"Howse?" Rachel whispered waking up.

"Hey, kid."

Tears began to form in her eyes again, she whimpered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know. You'll be more careful in the future."

She nodded her head through the tears and sniffling.

"I didn't want you to see that." House mentioned.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." he ensured and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "I'll pick you up from school tomorrow. Okay?"

A faint smile found her lips. "Okay" She briefly held out her arms to hug him but withdrew.

But he hugged her tightly and gave her a tender smile, before leaving. "Go back to sleep" He told Rachel. Then he exited the room.

He limped by Cuddy and grabbed his suit jacket on way out. "I'll pick her up tomorrow, same time. Goodnight." He bid her before closing the front door behind him.

She had seen the whole interaction with Rachel from the hall. He was so tender and thoughtful, even after tonight and the horrible pain. He took time to comfort her daughter. Tomorrow, they would do it all over again, only maybe they could skip the pain and tears.

\- Huddy -

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." Rumi


	10. Happiness

**Love Endures All Things: Chapter 10 - Happiness**

A/N: Again, thank you for all the reviews! Only two more chapters after this one. Hope you enjoy!

\- Huddy -

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." Ernest Hemingway

\- Huddy -

The following day House is at the local park with Rachel. They're sitting on the swings, side by side. Rachel was contemplative, staring down at her feet.

"What's on your mind, kid?" He asked, fidgeting in the swing.

She played with the gravel under her feet. "You always limp."

"Yeah" Here came the questions about his leg, he feared. From here on, her opinion of him would be changed.

She continued to stare at the ground. "It's because your leg is always hurting?"

"Yeah, sometimes more than others."

She finally found the courage to gaze up at him."Will it ever get better?"

"No" It touched his heart that she cared so much but wished it didn't cause her pain.

His misery shouldn't affect anyone but himself...or at least not an innocent kid.

"What happened?"

How to explain an infarction and muscle death to a 4-year-old. "You've seen your mom's dead plants right?"

She was confused now. "You ate dead plants?"

A shining smile flashed across his face. "No. Part of my muscle died because it wasn't getting blood flow, like the plants, die without water, and they had to cut it out."

Her eyes doubled in size. "You're missing part of your leg?" She exclaimed through amazement.

"Yeah, it's not as cool as it seems." Him missing a huge chunk of muscle didn't seem to diminish her opinion of him...it seemed to actually increase her admiration of him.

"Yeah...it hurts you." The sadness came back.

 _That is what made her sad? Not that he was a miserable, slow, handicapped cripple but that it caused him pain? This girl is something else._

"But that's life, things don't go the way you want and there's pain but not everything is bad. Like parks! Parks are fun!" with that he started to swing and she smiled and did her best to join him.

She struggled to move much on the swing. It just barely waved back and forth, even side to side some.

"Pump your legs." He instructed but she just scrunched up her face in confusion, still failing to swing properly.

"Point your toes forward when you swing forward and point them back when you swing back." He demonstrated.

They spent the next few minutes swinging together and Rachel got progressively better at propelling herself. Soon she got bored and ran off to the jungle gym and House parked himself on a nearby bench and occupied himself with some people watching. One of which was Rachel, of course. It wasn't long until a little boy around 5 started playing with her. He had a strong assertive personality. They played cooperatively, at first, but then Rachel ran over to him, upset.

"He won't take turns. He isn't playing right." She was red-faced and out of breath from the exertion of play and upset from her impolite play partner.

"Don't cry. Tell him to take turns or he gets to play alone." He instructed calmly. This sort of thing would happen for the rest of her life. There is no reason to make a big deal out of it.

"I'm not crying." She claimed stubbornly, rubbing the newly formed tears from her eyes, then running off.

She needed to learn to not allow herself to get run over and others won't always be there to bail her out. She ran back to her playmate and did exactly as she was told, unfortunately, the confrontation only rose. The boy pushed her, hard and she stumbled back. But the look that appeared on her face wasn't that of hurt but a spirited fury, a look he had seen on her mother's face many times. Rachel stomped back to the little boy and socked him right in the jaw and the fight was on, in a flurry of fists.

An adult, seemingly the boy's mother, approached to break up the fight. House noticed the angry determined stride of the mother and tried to hit her off at the pass. Before he could reach her, she grabbed both the kids arms, firmly, and dragged them apart.

"Hey!" He bellowed authoritatively. "Get your hands off her."

"You need to teach your kid to keep her little paws to herself." The woman screeched, glaring angrily at House.

"If you were watching them you would have seen that he pushed first. Teach your kid how to play fairly or get off your phone and watch him. Best to do it before winds up dead or depressed."

"Who asked you? Come on Will." She sneered as she seized her son's shoulder and left the park.

Rachel stood next to House drenched in shame. "I'm sorry I hit...he just made me so mad!" She apologized

"Don't apologize. He pushed you and you stood up for yourself, that's good. Don't let people run over you. " He encouraged, nudging her to continue playing.

\- Huddy -

That night Cuddy walked in on House watching TV from the couch, no Rachel in sight. Panic rushed through her, although it was nearly 9...maybe he had just put her to bed.

"Hey, how'd it go? Where's Rachel?" She asked hanging her coat up and sitting down her bag.

"Some stranger showed up and took her, I don't know where she is?" He shot back with nonchalance.

Cuddy's mouth fell ajar be for she got the chance to process the underlying sarcasm. "She's in bed. Everything's fine!" He ensured her, getting up to meet her.

She gave a sigh of relief and smiled, trying to reassure him that she had confidence in him.

"Again with not trusting me." His eyes peered into hers intently.

She smiled sweetly "I...I...just..."

"Just having a power crisis?" He offered.

She let out a chuckle and stepped closer to him. "No, just mentally fighting about 15 years of your little surprises. What did you all do?"

She walked to the couch and he followed, joining her.

"We went to the park, came back, had dinner, then I put her to bed." He answered innocently.

"So just a peaceful evening?"

He acted shocked. "Would you expect anything different?" The only response that earned was an incredulous glare.

"A little boy was giving her a hard time at the park but she put a stop to that."

"What happened?" She couldn't believe he let her get into a fight. Her daughter was not going to be a brawler.

"The boy was being a brat and she put a stop to it. That's all." An annoyed tone crept into his voice.

Then her administrative tone materialized."When you say 'put a stop to it' what do you mean?"

"He pushed her then wasn't going to stop and so she fought back. She would have won too if it wasn't for-"

"You let my baby get into a fight?" She hissed, steaming with anger.

Stiffing his arms, he squared his shoulders, "No, I let her stand up for herself."

What does he have to do for this woman? When has she ever rolled over from a confrontation? She has never let anyone take advantage of her. She is the toughest most assertive woman he has ever known...yet she wants Rachel to roll over and take abuse?

"Is she okay?" Exasperation filled her face, enraging House.

"She'll have a few bruises, but that boy won't ever bother her again. When did you start rolling over in a confrontation? You think she should?" He spat as the discussion heated up and he stood.

"No, she should use her words not her fists." She bit back facing her accuser nose to nose.

"First of all, she tried that. Secondly, she is four. What sort of verbal skills do you think she has? Also, tell me what words would stop a child in the middle of a hard left swing?" His eyes bore down into hers.

There was nothing she could say. He has always been so aggressive but as always...he was right. Neither of them has ever been ones to back down from a fight and neither should their children. House snatched his jacket from the coat rack and turned for the door.

"Are you gonna pick her up tomorrow?" She asked with some remorse.

"Yes, your majesty." House threw her a deep sarcastic bow, then left angrily.

Cuddy ran her hand over her face in frustration. What had she just done? He finally gathered the courage to attempt fatherhood and she shut him down the first chance she got.

The next morning Cuddy was driving Rachel to the preschool. "So did you have fun with House yesterday?"

"Yeah! We talked about his leg. His muscle died like your plants and now he is missing part of his leg! Did you know that?" Rachel claimed excitedly from the back seat playing with a stuffed bear.

Cuddy couldn't help but smile. _He actually discussed that with her?_ "Yeah, I did."

"Then he showed me how to swing all by myself!" Rachel was elated.

Cuddy gave a rueful smile. He never ceased to surprise her. He opened up to Rachel about his leg, apparently very effectively, and showed her to swing and to stand up for herself. She was the one that screwed up...

\- Huddy -

"You called me madam?" He sneered as he entered her office.

She rose from behind her desk, sat on the couch and motioned for him to join her. "Rachel had fun yesterday."

His face softened at her attempt for peace and he joined her on the sofa. "I've always been epic fun." he mimicked a surfer dude voice in an attempt to break the seriousness of the moment. The joking demeanor faded and fell flat.

"You didn't tell me you taught her to swing."

"You didn't give me a change." He answered sharply. "That isn't what you called me in here for though."

"It was, partly. But do you know whose resume I had on my desk this morning? She grinned joyfully, looking at him in full admiration. "Dr. Jeff Kraydel, one of the countries leading OBGYNs for geriatric pregnancy." _Not a word she wanted to make a habit out of applying to herself._ He waggled his brow proudly at her.

"How did you pull that off?"

"It just so happens that his mother has been very sick with an unknown illness. It was recently diagnosed, it isn't curable and she'll need care. Coincidentally, she has lived her entire life in the area. He couldn't stand the thought of moving her so he is looking for employment and a home in the area. He's applied at Princeton General too." By this time he was just gloating.

"But even if he was at Princeton General, I could get him privileges here. I just can't believe you sometimes." She meant it as a compliment, but that is not how he took it. A stern look crossed his face. "You can be an absolute jackass sometimes and the most thoughtful romantic man I've ever known, the next."

 _She's still going on about yesterday. What the hell will I have to do for her? I was right and she knows it._ He thought bitterly to himself when a hand touched his arm.

"Thank you, Greg. Thank you for Dr. Kraydel, for talking to her about your leg, showing her to pump her legs on the swing, and to stand up for herself." Her comment took him off guard. "You were right...per usual."

House just nodded, his eyes gazing softly into hers as he interlaced his fingers with hers. They allowed themselves a few moments to enjoy the closeness.

"As much as I love sitting here with you, I can think of much better ways we can avoid actually working." He suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

She scoffed, rolled her eyes, and pushed his shoulder in a flirting fashion. "Go to work!" Then she kissed his cheek.

With a brilliant smile, he got up to leave. "And Greg?" she called to him.

"You bought a car seat for Rachel?" A bright smile adorned her face. He winked and made his way back to work.

\- Huddy -

That night Cuddy left the hospital at about 11 o'clock. It had been a very long week. Even without being pregnant it would have worn her out but now she was absolutely drained. _Thank God it's Friday._ She praised. It was the third night in a row she would come home to House caring for her daughter. The image always brought a smile to her face, but honestly, also fear. She knew all too well his struggles and the extent his selfishness ran.

But when she arrived at her place the lights were dim, one lamp shone from the living room. She walked into the house to find the two asleep on the couch. House was spread out on his back and Rachel was laying atop his uninjured side, with his arm stretched over her back. Her cheek and hand laid on his chest, just as cozy as could be. The sight nearly brought tears to her eyes. She sneaked out her phone and snap a couple of pics before the flash woke him.

"You devil woman." He whispered groggily and she beamed. He gently wiggled to a more upright position, trying to prevent from waking Rachel.

"Here let me put her to bed." Cuddy offered, taking Rachel in her arms and carrying her down the hall. House took the few moments to wake up and rub the stiffness out of his leg. When she returned, she plopped down tiredly on the couch next to him. "How'd it go?"

"Fine, just did usual kid stuff. Then we had dinner and she begged to stay up until you came home. I managed to convince her that she could stay up with me if she took a bath and brushed her teeth. Then it was just a matter of time before she passed out."

"Cuddled up on your chest," Cuddy added, with a coy grin.

They leaned back lazily on the couch, just enjoying the time they were in. The house was quiet with a dim warm glow from the lamp that lit the room. Cuddy was the image of contentment, more comfortable than she has been in weeks. He once said that she could never be happy because she had to have things just right. At that moment she was blissful but it would be just a matter of time before that came crashing down and that left him troubled.

Pushing past the anxiety of the future he rolled his eyes. "I do not uddle." he claimed emphatically peering into her eyes.

"We both know that isn't true." She gave a knowing grin.

A soft smile crossed his lips. They had been apart so long and things had been going so well. The distance between them began to close until their lips met. It started cautiously, each tender peck like asking permission or testing the waters on a once troubled sea. They turned to face each other and hands began to reach, at first just as tenderly as their lips. As the kissing continued, it soon transitioned into deep yearning and from there a burning passion, both hungry for what they had missed for these many weeks. More and more Cuddy pushed towards him until she had gained the high ground. Heavy breathing and racing hearts were quelled when House gently pushed her away from on top of him.

"We don't need to do this." He lamented, isolating himself on the far side of the couch.

She was astonished. She had to beat him away with a stick for years but now he decides to back away. What's going on? His heart continued to beat speedily but this time it was not due to the passion they just shared.

Before picking Rachel up yesterday he had seen Nolan again. They discussed the potential obstacles in the way of this twisted family succeeding. He had been encouraged to discuss the larger concerns with her before moving forward. The road ahead was full of obstructions to navigate around but there was some evidence...some hope that he might actually be able to do this. But there was so much he needed to know before he made this decision.

"You busy tomorrow night?" He sputtered nervously, just above a whisper.

 _What was up with him?_ "Uh...no? I was gonna spend the day with Rachel." Her eyes searching for the catalyst for this bizarre behavior.

"Why don't you come over to my place? I'll get a sitter for Rachel." He asked tentatively.

"I haven't seen Rachel nearly all week."

"It's important. We have to talk."He persisted.

"We can talk now." She offered, seeing the desperateness in his eyes.

"No, it's late and you're tired." He commanded as he grew more confident.

Concern filled her face seeing the seriousness of his intentions."Alright...is everything okay?"

"Maybe. I need to know what you expect from me if I decide to do this and if I do, I have some expectations of my own." His face was serious.

She just nodded and placed her hand on his knee.

A brief grin broke through his sober scowl. He rose and fetched a white envelope out of his blazer pocket, from across the room. "But no matter what happens tomorrow. I want to give you these."

She took the envelope from him and opened it pulling out three tickets for the Henry Hippo and the Heros. It took her breath away. They weren't just regular tickets but behind the scenes, meet the characters tickets kind of tickets. "You hate this show."

"More than a whore hates church. But consider it my apology."

"That's very sweet House."

"If you ever tell I will deny everything." He swore, peering down at her.

\- Huddy -

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." Robert A. Heinlein

A/N: I was reading an article on interesting names of doctors and ran across an OBGYN with a similar name. Thought I would include it. :)


	11. Ultimatum

Love Endures All Things: Chapter 11 – Ultimatum

A/N: I need to warn you there is some sexual and emotional abuse addressed in this chapter. I hope I addressed it in a respectful way. As always thank you for the reviews, they mean a lot!

\- Huddy -

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up." Neal Gaiman

\- Huddy -

It was 7 pm when she showed up at his door. She was nervous. He wanted to talk...like actually talk...at least she is pretty sure he was serious. This better not be some sick joke. She just didn't think she could take it if it was. _No_ , she resolved _I have to give him this chance. We can work things out._ She knocked on his door. She heard the familiar thump of his cane against the hardwood.

"I was wondering how long you were going to stand out there." He quipped, stepping aside to let her enter.

She was dressed in a rose-colored button up top with gray shorts and sandals. The top buttons of her blouse left undone, teasing her assets to their greatest admirer. The shorts showed off her strong perfectly shaped legs. Her smell drifted in the room recalling memories of more pleasant nights.

"You've let yourself go." He said motioning to her stomach.

She smirked and shook her head as she entered. "It's not my stomach that you think about in the shower." She retorted slinking through the doorway, teasing him with her closeness and avoiding contact.

When in the apartment she was surprised to be hit by the scent of food. "Did you cook?"

"Mom always told me that it was polite to service women. You know not that I think of it this may be what she meant all along..." He deflected.

His defense was up because the rest of the night he would be naked before her and not in an exciting way. His nerves were rising, thinking about the judgment and the probable attacks on his most personal experiences.

The table was covered in a white tablecloth and was set for two, including filled wine glasses, plates, silverware, cloth napkins, and two tall candlesticks. She was amazed and ran her finger along the edge of the plate as to test if it was real.

"You are not hallucinating. I do own actual plates." He ensured from the hallway. He still looked miserable, his eyes sullen and dark. A part of him looked like a child hiding behind a pillar from his parent's judgments.

"It's beautiful, House. You know that I can't have alcohol though." Her hand absentmindedly moved towards her stomach but not touching it.

"I know that. It's sparkling grape juice. It didn't look right without it." His expression was the one he got right before the end of a long case when everything was going wrong and no epiphany had yet appeared.

But nothing was wrong...things were going right. Weren't they? His countenance seemed to prove otherwise and it worried her. Was all of this just a way to let her down easily...to keep her calm, persuade her it was the right decision?

"Sit down and I'll get the food."

"Let me help." She offered, moving for action.

"No, sit." He demanded blankly, leaving his cane, then limped to the kitchen.

She took a seat at the table. Her body was closed and protected, her legs crossed and her arms meeting on her lap. He hobbled back with two bowls of Creamy Mushroom and Spinach Gnocchi. Sitting the two bowls on the table, he stacked the staged plates and set them aside replacing them with the bowls. It was quite a juggling act, but Cuddy didn't dare help.

They both sat there awkwardly and began to eat.

"This is good House. Did you make the gnocchi by hand?" She bragged covering her mouth.

"Are you surprised? I'm a regular Gordon Ramsay." House couldn't force himself to eat, there was far too much on his mind.

Both of them lacked an appetite. She found it difficult to eat much more than half of her bowl but that far surpassed his ability.

"You've nearly made it past the first trimester. The risk of losing it has probably dropped to about 12% by now."

She knew that he was trying to be supportive in his own way. He was right. She probably had greater than a fifty percent likelihood of losing the fetus earlier in the pregnancy. "Yeah, it's looking good." She said optimistically.

Most of the meal was eaten in silence. When the remaining food got cold before them they abandoned their delay of the inevitable.

They made their way to the living room, Cuddy took a seat on the couch but House settled at his piano. Dr. Nolan had told him to take advantage of any positive cathartic tactic he could take advantage of. The piano was definitely one of those, so was cooking.

He picked out a graceful tentative melody. It was gentle and melodic. Cuddy had heard him at the keys a couple of times but it was nothing like this. Before he was simply showing off but now it was a small release of the troubles plaguing his mind.

"You know, you're insane to think I can do this." He played on, watching at his hands dance on the keys. "Cuddy, you don't know half of how messed up I am."

He paused his melody and popped an Ativan. "We aren't going to get to most of it, but there's more you need to know before you ask me to be part of your children's lives." He began to play again. "My father was equipped with an insane moral compass, everything was black and white. It didn't matter what my intentions were if I failed to follow the rules then I got punished. One time I was riding home with my friend and his mom. His mom decided that she needed to stay and talk for half an hour after practice. That made me 5 minutes late for dinner, so I went to bed hungry. That happened a lot. There was no mercy and no excuses."

She might not say that House was a moral man but she would say that he tried to do what was right. It didn't matter what the law or regulation said, but he tried for the best outcome. It might be waiting to report child abuse until he's done using the parent to discover clues to the kid's mysterious illness. It might be that he cancels a fellow's job interview then sends them all searching for the culprit so that fellow would be useful during the case. But in both circumstances, he used his resources for what he perceived to be the best possible outcome.

"I learned when I was young that it didn't matter what I did...that I would fail in his eyes. So I stopped trying. If I was going to fail anyway then why try, so I did what I wanted. Most of the time my rebellion was well calculated and I expected his reaction. Sometimes my misdeeds were unintentional. I left a window open after a run one time and got to sleep outside so I could enjoy the brisk wind."

 _That was too extreme a reaction. No wonder he had a problem with authority._ She thought.

"Nothing I did was good enough. If I failed a test, I didn't apply myself, which was usually true. With less than a perfect score, I could do better next time. A perfect score meant that I better not start slacking off." The tune became angry and turbulent. "He always talked about being there for his men on the battlefield and how that's the way our family should be. But I found out just what he thought of me when I really needed him."

His voice cracked slightly and the playing paused for a moment before continuing.

"We were visiting one of his Marine buddies when he wanted to show me a book in the back study. I was about 10 or so. And a kid wasn't supposed to ever say no to an adult, so I followed."

Cuddy was shocked. Surely this wasn't heading where she thought it was heading.

"He groped me. It was quick. I was surprised and confused. I knew it wasn't right. Mom called for me so it didn't get much further. After we left I tried to tell my dad. He was a badass Marine pilot and valued honesty...I thought he would protect me, but he didn't even believe me. He made me apologize to that bastard."

He wasn't sure what hurt the most the touch or that the only person he could run to didn't think enough of him to believe him. How many times had she accused him of something that wasn't his fault? How many times did she chalk up his behavior to it just being House? A hard rock grew in her stomach. She had always thought he feigned offense at her accusations, but now...looking back and knowing all those hurt looks were real...she wasn't sure she could forgive herself.

"I was a smart kid. So anytime I knew we were going to visit him I'd act out to get myself grounded. A grounding also came with a whipping from his belt but it was better than the alternative. If I didn't get grounded before the visit, I acted up there so John would think that he had to keep a constant eye on me. That one got me a worse beating at home but still...it was a better option."

His tune continued it's transformation into anger, not quick pounding anger but dark and vengeful.

"By the time I was 12, I realized he wasn't my biological father. During one of our regular arguments, I used it on him. He didn't talk to me for three months. It was nice not to hear the constant criticism but I know he had been lying to himself about that for a long time." The melody morphed again into something more remorseful. "He wanted that perfect happy family and maybe he even wanted to think that I was his son. That might have been the closest I ever got to see that he actually cared for me. But I damn well saw to change that didn't I."

He stopped playing to rub his face then met her gaze.

"He made me resent so much about myself. But he couldn't ruin my confidence with puzzles, medical or otherwise. Medicine proved to be my source of freedom. It didn't matter how much people hated or rejected me they would need me eventually."

He paused looking down from her eyes.

"That's why you push people away. He made you think you couldn't succeed in a relationship, so you purposely fail so their rejection is at least expected."

He felt so exposed. He had never talked to anyone, other than Nolan, about this. His mother didn't even know the truth.

"What's your plan for when I screw up again? If I do this...I don't think I can stand losing it all."

"House, you're getting better. It won't come to-" She began

"It will. I am a drug addict, Lisa..with many other issues. I am so screwed up and talking to a shrink isn't going to make me anything close to perfect." He said emphatically.

"We'll work through it...just like we've been doing with this. If it means that we need couple's counseling then we'll do that. If you need to go back to rehab...I would hope you would do that."

She couldn't leave him alone all the way over there for this. She took a seat next to him on the ebony piano bench. Her hand rested on his shoulder and her gray-blue eyes looked softly into his.

"If it comes down to it I won't let you hurt them but I'm going to leave the door open for you to take steps back into our lives. But from what I've seen in the past two years...you are getting better. You've put in a lot of work...and I expect you'll continue that. I have my own work to put in too." She glanced away from him, her hands fidgeting in her lap.

"Which brings me to one of my requests...you make an excellent hospital administrator but you are not the family administrator."

"Are you expecting to be?" She asked defensively.

"No! I expect us to act like a team. You're controlling and uptight. I am overly caviler and brash. The other day when Rachel got into that fight-"

"You were right about that." She interrupted.

"Yes, I was. But good thing Rachel wasn't there for the conflicting demands. You can't unexpectedly change rules on a kid."

She could tell it was exactly what had happened to him far too many times as a child. The hurt downcast expression he had was enough. Was it the change in rules from base to base? The change from his father being home to being deployed? Or simply the inconsistencies in his father's own expectations? She wouldn't dare ask, when or if he wanted to tell her, he would. Tonight was on him, he was the one sitting the pace.

"You're right." She conceded.

They sat there silently, each waiting for the other to speak. The moment dragging on.

"Thank you for going back to therapy." she said trying to break the silence.

"Yeah, well it helps. The Adivan was a recent development. It's stupid I need it." He muttered ashamed.

"Greg, forget whatever John said. Life isn't about who can tough things out the best. Everyone deserves and needs help at some point. You have had one hell of a life and nobody would expect you to tough it out alone." Her eyes were the picture of firm sincerity.

Her hand rested gently on his thigh and their gazes locked. His soft thankful eyes were pulled closer to her and they kissed tenderly. He started at the piano again but this time the tune was lively and playful.

"You know this means we gotta to move in together." He offered with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"I was hoping so." She said through a vibrant grin.

They sat there together just enjoying the music and each other's closeness. The dam had burst and now the waters had receded into a free-flowing brook. Their chests took deep easy breaths, relieved of the burdens they had borne earlier. Eventually, they made their way over to the couch and cuddled up close to one another. The warmth from each other's skin had a calming effect that resembled something close to tranquility.

Then Cuddy felt House stiffen. His breathing changed and his hand had stopped its playful circle on her leg. "For transparency's sake, I want to move in with you and raise Rachel and the currently growing fetus...and you are okay with that?"

She nodded.

"We might not ever get married."

"Might not?" She shot him a suggestive look. "That's better than I expected."

"I'm going to royally screw up at some point..."

"I'm willing to try every day as long as you are." She smiled

"You are a crazy woman." He declared wrapping his arms tighter around her.

The conversation had gone well and while some expectations were laid out, both of them knew there was still a long road ahead. It wasn't going to be easy. He would pull an insane and possibly illegal stunt and she would be a helicopter parent or overly critical and demanding. They would drive each other crazy as a couple just as they had many times as coworkers. The difference this time is that they had both resolved that they weren't going to give up on this relationship.

House had said many times before that love, romantic or otherwise, was conditional, at some point too much was too much. He had seen it many times in his life, both personally and with others. Goff seemed to care more than anyone who should for just meeting someone. Then there was Wilson. There were times that he thought Wilson had given up on him...he always came back. But the cost for Wilson loving House was that he would be alone. Cuddy seemed to love him too, but in a romantic way as well. She hadn't given up on him, she hadn't lost faith. Even after years of testing that bond they had, it still held, even by only a thread at times.

He used to test those relationships, so at least he would expect the betrayal or prove that he was unworthy of love. This time...this time he wasn't going to test it or at least not his typical tests. This course would only have a final exam, with some incidental quizzes along the way. Could they endure that long? Of course, they had known each other for well over two decades now...do they have that long in front of them? A more accurate question is...does he? But after over a decade of solid of testing, they have come to this point...closer than they had ever been. If she could endure those years...surely he could trust her enough to endure the next few decades.

They lay comfortably on the couch just enjoying each other's presence. Over the next few hours, things began to heat up but House soon put a stop to it.

"You probably should be going." He mumbled trying to clear his mind from their intimate moment.

"Wilson offered to stay the night...or you could come over?" She suggested.

"No, I have some things to do here. Go spend the rest of the night with your daughter." He pried himself out of the couch.

"Our daughter" She corrected, standing with him.

"Not quite yet." He seemed nervous again.

"You have more questions? More tests? You said you had decided..."

"I thought you said you would trust me?" He bit back.

"I do...just...keep me updated? We only have so long." She touched her growing abdomen. He nodded his head and walked her to the door.

\- Huddy -

She got home and sent a home a very curious Wilson home. But then she heard her phone buzz from inside her purse. When she looked inside there was an envelope she didn't remember putting in there. But she checked her phone and saw she had a text from House.

'Check your purse.' it said.

The envelope with legal papers and a handwritten letter folded up inside. The letter read 'Take some time to consider this. Don't think about giving me an answer tonight. Love, Greg' When she turned the page she saw the packet was adoption papers completely filled out on his part and just awaited her signatures. Tears fell onto the paper and she grabbed her phone to answer him.

'Oh Greg...are you sure?'

'I'm not going to half-ass this.'

'I really don't need to wait to decide.'

'No, Cuddy you are high on endorphins, your judgment is clouded.'

'You're incredible.' This isn't what she expected at all.

'Goodnight, Lisa.'

'Goodnight, Greg XXX'

She was on cloud nine. Next Saturday was their trip to see Henry the Hippos and the Heros. She hated the show just about as much as he did but it will be their first trip together as a real family...and she couldn't wait.

\- Huddy -

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." LaoTzu


	12. Family

**Love Endures All Things Chapter 12: Family**

A/N: I watched Mr. Pip with the great Hugh Laurie while writing parts of this. He's so kind and tender in that film.

The first few days back it was obvious that something was different with House. He was brash and joking just like always, but with a good-hearted nature. His eyes had a lightness about them, his stride more graceful, even with it's ever-present limp. He was still in obvious discomfort, as to be expected by someone missing a fist-sized chunk of muscle. It's something that would never leave him, his closest companion or rather a tormentor.

One could still see the hurt from his past if they dared look closely enough. There was something more there that seemed to accompany the new-found joy, but this something was dark. It was a sort of underlying worry that laid in wait. It happened to be about what Cuddy would decide. He didn't want her to give in and agree to it but then again she wasn't known to give in to anything she didn't want. The other option was more concerning, that she would want to retain ultimate control of everything and reject him. But he would find out her decision soon enough.

\- Huddy -

The team left to run some tests on their newest patient. As he looked through a medical journal reading up on some symptoms, he heard a familiar confident click of heels approaching his office. It was going to be a long day.

"Thought I recognized that huge ass through the blinds." He greeted her as she stepped in the room.

She smiled. "I've decided." She waited for a look form him that meant he was ready to hear it. Which he gave, with a tentative nod. "I want you to adopt her."

"Are you sure? You can't back out after this. Well...I guess you could but it would be-"

"As long as we are both trying to make this work, I think we can make it. We'll have to compromise and we both struggle to concede anything but we're learning to trust each other. Right?" She said pacing the floor in front of his desk.

"Right, look if you think you have to justify it then maybe I shouldn't."

"House, it's a huge step to share my daughter with you. I know you're good with kids and she loves you. I just need to know that you'll stay when things get hard. That you're willing to concede some to me, that you'll sacrifice your pride for the good of our family. Are you willing to keep trying?"

"That's what this Saturday is about. I'm serious about this."

"You showed up during my cancer scare, although it took you a while and you relapsed. But you sacrificed your sobriety because you knew I needed you there. Also, you sent your team to come to check on me when you couldn't get yourself to." She explained to herself.

"Cuddy, you're not ready."

"Why are you so calm about this?" She asked finally stopping her pacing.

"I'm an ass and you would be insane if you didn't question this."

She didn't know how to answer and collapsed into the chair in front of his desk.

He folded his arms on his desk. "You want this to work but you're not sure that I've changed. You understand how much I hate that ridiculous hippo show. Wait until after Saturday, I won't pull any of my usual stunts. Then you'll have more proof."

She nodded then looked down. It was going to be a long rest of the week and the pressure was on for Saturday.

\- Huddy -

Saturday came around and House met them at her house. It's not that he dreaded what was about to happen, but he knew: the show would be terrible, Rachel would love it, and the decision would be made today. He hobbled up to the front door, where Cuddy gladly waited for him, holding back a very excited 4-year-old. Rachel broke loose and gave him a tight hug around his good leg. He returned it with a pat on her back.

"Howse! I'm so excited!" She exclaimed.

"I bet kid." His face showed obvious discomfort.

He was never good in tender moments like these. Most of his adult life has been spent cold and detached. He didn't allow others close and he didn't open up to them either. He was private and preferred it that way. Well, he thought he did. The thought of sharing things scared him. Even today, he was going to display the seriousness of his intent to father Rachel...and his future kid. Cuddy kissed him, pulling him out of his reverie.

That's why he was there. He loved her and she had faith in him. If, after everything that he had done to her, she could still believe in him then he could trust his heart to her. He could do this, all he had to do was be there and to interact with Rachel in a positive way.

When they arrived at the show, Rachel anxiously unbuckled herself from the car seat and waited for her mom to get her out of the vehicle. Cuddy, House, and Rachel made their way to the gate. Rachel was glued right between them, holding both their hands and nearly dragging them to the entrance. Her excitement was contagious. Upon reaching the ticket booth, House escaped the grip of the 4-year-old and retrieved the tickets from his wallet, with his usual grimace.

"Hello, sweetie." The lady said to Rachel, "you excited for the show with your mommy and daddy?"

"He's not my daddy." Her smile faded slightly.

 _Damn it!_ House thought, _just do your damn job lady_. Rachel didn't know yet that his relation to her might soon change and he couldn't tell her now. Why didn't Cuddy discuss it with her? Had she decided that her faith in him had its limits? The lady's gaze had changed to that of pity.

"Mind your own damn business." He told her as he handed her the tickets. He received an elbow in his side from Cuddy, who shot him a glare.

"Make your way to the stage and follow the yellow signs and you can begin your character meeting." The ticket master instructed, returning the tickets to him.

Cuddy took his hand as Rachel pulled her down the line of yellow signs.

He didn't know who was more excited, Rachel who was clinging to his arm, or Cuddy who had a skip in her step. Or at least she did before the incident with the idiotic ticket lady. They reached the stage and were waved through to the meet and greet with the characters. House's typical nature took over and was itching to find a way out…any way out. A nervous embarrassment was rising and was just about to overtake him when Cuddy squeezed his hand.

Her hand was smooth, warm, and gentle, it grounded him and reminded him of the reason he is there. The nervous energy dissipated, and he squeezed back. They appeared like any normal little family. Rachel shrieked as she saw the characters waiting for them.

"Hello, friends! We are glad to see you today! How are you doing this wonderful afternoon?" the large yellow and blue foam clad Hippo said excitedly, sticking out his hand for House to shake.

"Hello, world-renowned diagnostician Dr. House, I abhor your show. I'm here for her." He whispered bitterly shaking its hand and wearing a fake smile.

Rachel was immersed in conversation with the other characters and House faded into the background and restrained himself from too much mischief. Holding back the quips that flooded his mind caused him pain. It was evident to all around that House was unamused by the experience. Rachel, however, was too elated to notice his misery.

He noticed an upright piano, hidden in the back and he ached to play it. He also noticed some props from the upcoming show scattered around, all annoyingly bright. Then he saw a worried stagehand approach the agent and explain they couldn't get the theme song to play. He knew the show was going to be terrible but at least expected it to go off properly. It would...if he had anything to say about it.

Cuddy was delighted to see Rachel this excited. She often worked long hours during the week so when the weekend rolled around, they usually stayed home enjoying each other's company. She was elated that House thought of this. Honestly, that didn't surprise her that much as him actually showing up for it. Hopefully, he could make it through the day with good behavior...for Rachel. Then she felt his hand pull from her's as he angrily approached, what seemed to be, a stagehand and the actors' manager. _Oh dear, what is he doing?_

Rachel couldn't believe she was actually meeting them! They were so fun! They played music and helped the people around them. There was Henry the Hippo who is Homekeeper, the daddy as Rachel described him, Darla the Deer who is a Doctor, the firefighter Freddie the Fox, Carl the Camel who is a Construction worker and the policewoman Penny the Penguin. She didn't know why but House always made the joke that Penny was a pig but mommy always slapped his shoulder for saying it. But her favorite was Darla because she was a doctor just like her momma and just like House. It let her see what her momma did at work or could do, although she knew that her mom did a lot of paperwork and talked to old people in suits.

"What's going on?" Cuddy asked House when he returned.

"Nothing" He responded distantly taking her hand back in his.

She started preparing herself for the worst. He had always had a wonderful ability for the ridiculous. He couldn't do that today, not that he wouldn't but he couldn't, not with Rachel so excited. She hoped for the best...after all, she did believe that he had changed.

The meeting finally ended, and it was nearly time for the hour-long show. _Kill me now_ he thought to himself. They found their seats in the crowd and Rachel firmly planted herself between the two of them. Her eyes were wide with excitement. Cuddy gazed warmly at her daughter and glanced up at House who was already watching her. In their looks were: hope for the future, immense thankfulness, and admiration. Soon enough, excited foam characters jump out on stage but with no music to be heard. It was odd at first, but soon enough the children started screaming and the adult whooped softly in the background.

"We are so excited to get to see you all here today, friends. Before the show, we got to meet some very special friends and we would like to ask them to help lead the Welcome Dance: Sophia, Bobby, and Rachel grab your guardian and come join us on stage!"

House offered his hand to Rachel, much to Cuddy's surprise. He was dragged on stage by the excited little girl.

"Now we have had a little bit of a mishap today and our music won't play but we have a special hero here who offered to help with our welcome song, Rachel's daddy, Dr. Greg House! Give him a big Heroes thank you!"

The kids broke into the show's thank you dance. House had a nearly overwhelming desire to give them a reason to not think so highly of him, but he restrained himself. The stage crew rolled out the old upright piano for him.

House had heard the song only a million times. He started to play his jazzy rendition of the all too familiar tune the parents woke up and the children became even more excited. The characters danced as Rachel, Sophia, and Bobby led the audience in the welcome dance. As if any more excitement could radiate from Rachel. It was her person who was leading the song with her favorite characters! When they finished the song, Rachel ran to hug House and all the characters praised his performance. House hoped the rest of the show passed quicker than what he just endured.

A few minutes into the show, his phone buzzed in his pocket. When extracted it turned out to be his team. When he rose to take the call privately, a small hand grabbed the tail of his shirt pleading him to stay. He had gone this far. He sat back down to attempt to solve the issue over text.

'What is it? The Midget is being very demanding.'

When the phone buzzed again it read. 'Um…okay the patient started coughing up blood. So, it's not what we thought."

The texting continued throughout the show. It wasn't ideal but it was a realistic expectation. If he was ever going to have a family they would have to deal with the demands of his job. He welcomed the distraction from the show and retreated into the recesses of his mind as he pondered the medical puzzle. Cuddy could see that he was a bit distracted by texts, probably from a case, but also the smile he had as he watched Rachel. It wasn't a sight he was used to from him. She smiled and returned her attention to the show.

\- Huddy -

Before he knew it the show had ended and they made it back to the car.

"Momma, did you see? I was on the stage with Howse and he played the song on the piano in front of everyone!" Rachel shouted as she got buckled in her car seat.

"I did see that! You both did such a good job!" she said through a chuckle, turning to wink at House.

House hid his face in his hand with an elbow propped on the window of the passenger seat and not saying a word.

\- Huddy -

Upon arriving home Rachel could not contain herself. When they entered the house, Cuddy began to try and calm the child and encourage her boyfriend. House, on the other hand, had his fill of children and their activities.

"You really did great today House. I am afraid that I must apologize. I was worried when you talked with the manager." She told him as she rushed around doing chores.

House grabbed a beer from the fridge and collapsed on the couch, in front of the TV. Rachel was running around singing the theme song over and over with her Heroes toys, in hand.

"I would have preferred surgery with no anesthetic. She seems pretty happy though." He answered and took a swig of his drink.

Cuddy couldn't help but smile at his complaint. She knew the sacrifice he took for her daughter and knew that, despite what it seemed, he's proud that he got to show off for her. He had changed. In the past, he wouldn't have even shown up, but this time he actively tried to ensure it was the best experience for Rachel. She was very proud of him, to say the least.

"Howse, did you see their faces?" Rachel ran over to the couch and plopped down next to him.

"I had the best adult! I love you!" She gloated wrapping herself around his free arm. Cuddy joined her happy family on the couch, picked up Rachel and placed her on her lap.

"You too….bloody scallywag," House answered her, admiring the view of his hopeful family.

Rachel started to drift off to sleep on Cuddy's lap, from her exciting day with a smile of pure joy.

"You did well today." Lisa whispered and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks."

"You're going to be a good father to these two." She professed quietly with a grin.

He shrugged his shoulder forcing her to raise her head and look at him. "Are you sure? That's your decision?"

"Yes, Greg." She kissed him tenderly. "I don't expect things like today often but I know how much it took for you to do this and it means a lot. You wouldn't have done that a few years ago."

He shook his head, he wouldn't have years ago. "This is worth it."

House smiled and kissed the top of her head. He was still the same selfish man and still just as calloused but today he did better…today he showed that other things mattered. He hadn't changed but perhaps his priorities had, even if ever so slightly. Part of that wall, that had for so long guarded his heart, had been sieged. His true heart was exposed, not fully but more than it had been in many years.

After Rachel was good and asleep House stood and offered to take the sleeping girl from Cuddy.

"You sure? I can take her." She whispered, being careful not to disrupt the child's sleep.

"She only four. I can carry her." He said with a sneer.

He took the child and hobbled with her to her bedroom, laying her down and tucking her in.

"Howse?" The child whispered groggily.

"Yeah kid?" he answered.

"I had fun today." she said as her eyes fluttered back closed.

"I know." He affirmed standing over her admiring her innocence as she drifted back to sleep.

\- Huddy -

He left the child's room and searched for Cuddy. He found her laying on the bed in a white silk nightie.

"Hello, mistress!" He said in a husky tone, entering the room. She rose seductively and sauntered closer. Their hearts beat furiously as their distance closed. She reached him and threw her arms around his neck. His hands explored the curves of her body and they kissed passionately. He grabbed her waist, turned them around and pressed her against the wall. His long fingers curled around her sides as his thumbs caressed the thin fabric that covered her stomach.

"Lisa, last week I didn't want to make your decision any harder on you, but now that it's been made. I'm going to be as hard on you as you'll let me." He whispered gruffly into her ear.

She could feel beneath his jeans just what he was suggesting and giggled with excitement as he kissed the nape of her neck. They were hungry for each other. Yearning to fill the chasm between them, as if the act would make them one and complete.

Afterward, they lay under the sheet soaked in sweat. Cuddy had fallen asleep, but he lay there awake thinking. This was a good feeling. He was happy, enjoyed sex with a woman he loved, and endured an entire day of activities for children and hadn't screwed it up. Cuddy seemed sure in her decision. Soon that little girl would be his. Now, all he had to do was not screw it all up too badly.

A lot had changed for him the past year and a half. He had begun to open himself up to people, at least some and therapy was helping too. His life was richer than it had ever been. There was the constant of his medical career and his brilliant mind. But now a woman that believed in him and loved him, a little girl that worshiped him, another kid on the way, and Wilson, who wasn't a recent acquisition but still a source of good in his life. Even with all this, he found himself anxious...how was it going to end? Every good thing in his life always came to an end in some grandiose way. He felt his heart begin to race and his breathing speed. He got up and retrieved an Ativan and took one. Then he remembered what Dr. Nolan had told him...you miss out on all good things if you don't first give it a chance. He had to give this a chance and he had to do his best to preserve it.

\- Huddy -

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, **endures all things**.Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

A/N: I want to thank you all for making this journey with me. I hope to pick it up again in a few weeks. I have some planning to do for the next two stories and I'm taking a trip. As always reviews and favorites do that heart good. The next story will likely be titled Love Hopes All Things.


End file.
